Qsilv

morshy, I've just re-read that... several times (smiles) and I do have one editorial comment.

There's a problem with the tempo... it will hold even as it is, but the aftertaste... hm... admittedly this is like assessing wine but...

For the amount and quality of prose build-up, the climax is almost invisible... lost in its brevity. (The denouement is perfect.)

But the climax needs to stand balanced on its own two feet, and a way to do that -- without changing a single word -- is just to put it in its own paragraph:
>>And then something subtle changed... <snip> ...utterly dead.<<


Word count's 788 with the (excellently chosen for anyone who's able to reference that tune) one-word title.

Thanks for sharing this one!

mouse

Morshy reminded me of dueling bangos in Deliverance. It was very visual. Liked it alot.

giraffe

Methinks Morshy per'aps a guitar user be.