morshy

Guys, I'm flattered to be made Torchbearer. Thank you so much.

Little concerned that you're already hassling me for a new wordlist though. I got made TB YESTERDAY. Had it happened like a week ago, I could understand you being unhappy at a wait for a list.

I can't post a list right now, but I promise it will be with you in the next 12 hours. Work I'm afraid has taken a lot out of me, and pretty much all of my free time.

Good luck to all, and thanks again for being made TB. I won't let you down.

morshy

anotherronism

TB? I like it. Nice.

giraffe

Morshy. Have fun with this. I've been TB 3 times and really enjoy it. Now I've been banished by the "Great Creator" but I'll read up anyway. Some lists have a theme and some don't. Have fun.

midnightpoet

Morsy, I apologize for cracking the whip at you. I just like whips, ya know?

marius

morshy - looking forward to your list and you as torch-bearer too. Hope you have fun with this. Again, congratulations. : )

morshy

Right. Yesterday was a nightmare. My working day started at 7 am, and I didn't get back in the house until gne 11pm. I switched my laptop on to give you guys a nice list, and promptly passed out!

Here's my list:

Vapour (or Vapor)
Unremitting
Torpor
Sanguine
Rotten
Argument
Blade
Cradle
Deposit
Extrapolate


Word count should be no more than 419, but as I am habitually unable to keep to a word count, I doubt very much I'll be too strict with it.

I'll give y'all a week, and have fun. Entries no later than Friday 28th May.

giraffe

I apologize for posting this, but morshy's list was too sweet to ignore.

DOG

She had the dreaded vapors. Quite often she would seem to faint, putting the back of her hand to her forehead and sink back into the overstuffed sofa or park bench and wait to be revived. Sometimes smelling salts would work and other times we just had to leave her laying there until she woke up.

You could almost see it coming on. Her complexion would go ruddy and sanguine as if she was having an attack. It was usually in the middle of a mild argument or dispute, but it was only the vapors. Her condition was so vague, we all tried to extrapolate the cause of it. Usually it's every time she says "from the cradle to the grave" while she's screaming scriptures to people on the anenue, it reminded us that her sluggish torpor could take over at any moment.

Blade was such a handsome young man and he did his best to protect her from the rotten people and ideas out there, but sometimes one would reach her and these unremitting spells would overtake her.

"Darling," Blade said softly. "We don't have to worry. The check has been deposited in my account so we're good for anther year."

"Another year of what, Blade?" She was starting to turn red.

"Calm down, Sweetie. It will be another year of bitter-sweet frustration and joy."

She asked "Can I have you right now, right here on the spot?"

"Whatever pleases you, my love. I'd rather we wait until we get home, but it's always up to you. I don't want you to get the vapors."

"I love you, Blade." she said as she pulled him toward her. She planted her teeth in his neck and consumed about a tenth of his blood.

"Are you feeling better now, Babe? I'm starting to feel a bit weak with the vapors myself."

"Blade...? Blade.....? Look at that gorgeous couple across the street walking their dog. She's got a rack to die for and the guy- you could park a sportscar under that ass. Take your pick."

Blade knows the drill. Pretend like he doesn't know her. Walk up to the couple feeling weak. Fall down. When they bend down to help, go for the most vibrant throat. We have to replenish the blood supply.

Blade knew he was breaking the last rule of their relationship. He went for the dog and had breakfast. It was pretty good but she hates dog. So now he wanders home alone with dog on his breath. She always gets over it.

giraffe

Once again I apologize for writing and contributing this crap.

giraffe

And anotherronism, I wait with baited breath to see what you do with this list. I know you won't bore us like we bore you.

marius

Goodness morshy. A challenging list! Am waiting for the muses and will get back with you. : )

marius

Word count, 419. All words used.


More Than a Rock Garden

They found him on a rotten weather day when they were digging in the garden. It was cold, icy and windy but this was the day they could share the task so argument was set aside.

If John hadn’t added another deposit of earth that knocked the dirt from his body, she would not have seen him. The sun made a flash of brilliance across his sleek and scaly form. His tail was still a bright blue. That was unusual. She cradled him in her gloves but he didn’t seem to know, winter’s torpor unremitting.

They’d been revising the rock garden at the side of the house. The trouble was ... well, she didn’t know. They built the rock garden for him. When they moved to town last spring that was the first thing she missed, wildlife in her yard. Gone were the treefrogs who moved into the chimney for summer and liked to sing there. Gone were the bobcats panting in the deep shade next to their house while the inside cat yowled with fearful might. Gone were the turkeys strutting in their spring glory, the sun playing the fiddle on their iridescent feathers. Gone were the short-tailed shrews her cat liked to catch. Gone were the phoebes that nested atop the porch light and the luna moths of warm greens and purple summer.

Most of all she missed the kitchen skinks. All summer long they would cool themselves on the linoleum floor and unless the cat came by, they’d sit still and pretty with their bright blue tails. Neon blue. Well, only young had the blue. But, it made her heart sing. That was why they’d built the rock garden, for the one skink found living at the side of their new home. They had watched him during summer, hiding in the cool crevices or basking on rock ledges in the heat of August sun.

The vapor from John’s breath was making icy clouds of crystals. He turned around, saw her crying. He saw the stiff little figure in her hand, a sanguine spot on her glove. It was easy to extrapolate how blade of shovel had slashed through side of belly. John patted her hand with reverent silence. He went inside and returned with a blue velveteen bag. “Is this the one you wanted?”

When they finished the garden there was something new, a miniature grave. A grey-flagstone marker stood in front of a cross made of big bluestem grasses.

The marker read, “That ol’ Bluetail.”

marius

Here's a picture of the five-lined skink. The blue tail does appear as a sort of 'neon blue' when the sun shines on it.

http://www.jamesriverpark.org/images/wildlife_herps_five-lined-skink.jpg

giraffe

That's a funny looking bird.

giraffe

I'm not going to do this anymore, so don't even consider me as TB. I guess I have Sylvia's Cooties. but I found a much more sophisticated writing board. http://thewritersforum.proboards.com/index.cgi

It's very cool. They don't make you feel like the ugly redheaded stepson there. Rules are far more relaxed and and I haven't run into one judgemental, insulting person there. Bye,

Dragon

marius, I loved that, it brought a tear to my eye.

anotherronism

giraffe:
You missed the word count. This is obviously because you cannot count and do not, in fact read even your own stuff and you especially do not edit.

I think, perhaps, it’s the editing that has you so confounded. It is why you miss the point so grossly.

But then there is also the salient point which is this: you have no talent. You simply cannot write. To put not-too-fine a point on it. You suck.

Should I criticize your entry? I wonder.

Let’s start at the beginning. I wonder if you even know who is telling this story. In your first paragraph you use the word “we”.

You continue a world-view of “we” through your second paragraph where you actually prove that you don’t edit even in the most basic sense in that you misspelled a word that even a spell-checker would’ve caught.

Then there is this: “Blade was such a handsome young man and he did his best to protect her from the rotten people and ideas out there…”

The rotten people and ideas out there? This is actually worse than “It was a dark and stormy night.” This is the worst sentence I’ve ever seen written. Rotten people? Really. Evil people, mean-spirited people, hulligans, whatever. But rotten people? This is beyond bad writing. This is drivel

“Bittersweet” is, in fact, one word. D’uh.

Let’s examine the word “about” shall we. I’ve always had a pet peeve regarding this word. I am especially fond of people saying things like “About 6:37pm”

If you are going to quote a specific amount – do you really need the word “about”? And you play into this pet peeve of mine by saying “about a tenth of his blood.”

Do you know how much that is? Did you do any research at all? What would be the effect of consuming one tenth of his blood? You don’t know. So the reader doesn’t know.

But here’s the real thing. This paragraph: “Blade knows the drill. Pretend like he doesn't know her. Walk up to the couple feeling weak. Fall down. When they bend down to help, go for the most vibrant throat. We have to replenish the blood supply.”

I could analyze this crap from a hundred different ways. But let’s just look at it head-on. (so to speak – giraffe won’t understand what so-to-speak mean buts let’s move on any way.)

So they’re vampires. D’uh. Was that fact supposed to be a surprise?

The plan of attack for these vampires is to appear weak and then go for their rescuers vulnerable throat. Really. If someone is bending down to help then their chin is, in fact, covering their throat. Wait. Wait. Wait. I just realized this argument is so obviously apparent that I don’t even need to bring it up. To support this I reference all the comments this story has drawn.

“We have to replenish the blood supply.” These are the weakest, dumbest vampires in the history of vampires. They get weak and have “vapors” and faint, apparently, all the time.

Oh – they aren’t vampires at all. They are giraffes: stupid dumbass wannabe writers/vampires. But their weakness is not endearing. It’s just annoying.

Then of course there is the overall story itself – the arch, if you will.

She always gets over it.

I really felt the conflict and emotion here – especially with the sports car under the ass.

These characters were flat. The story was non-existent and the entire exercise was self-indulgent bullshit.

Giraffe: We’ve had our moments in the past week. But you cannot write. You just cannot. No amount of rules or restrictions are ever gonna excuse your simple inability to craft fiction. You do not read. You cannot read. Ergo (look that up) you cannot write.

So stop trying or really, move on to that site you found where they don’t criticize or establish parameters. Let us all know when you discover the critical nature and those parameters which don’t exist.

I seriously doubt, for example, that they’d allow a thirty-thousand-word essay on the letter “A” comprised of nothing but thirty thousand letter A’s would they.

But you didn’t actually read the terms of agreement did you?

And what is all this “We” stuff anyway?

anotherronism

Folks. Everyone in the ThinkWrite community.

I apologize. I do.

I've had flame wars in the past but have sworn to never bring them to these shores.

But I have encountered the biggest dumbass in the history of all forums right here.

And this person is here under more than a single ID.

I came back to see how things were. I am not happy and said so.

But only two people have really taken this to heart and they are, in fact, the same person.

And she has just gotten under my skin.

I said I was gonna leave again. And I am.

So I apologize for everything.

It is all my fault.

giraffe

Anotherronism. I'm not a professional writer or editor. I do this for the fun. If I ever needed a professional editor, I'd let you know. I still want to see what you do with this word list. It's quite a challenge. I dare you to stop criticizing and write a story. BTW, Morshy said don't go OVER a certain word count. How badly did I do? Sorry for the misspellings, but my editor was asleep.

giraffe

Anotherronism. Please back up your accusation. Who is operating as two different IDs. Is it you? I know it's not me. When Doug dropped out, you suddenly showed up after a year of posting nothing. Were you in prison or something?

giraffe

On second count, my story DOG is 424 words. That's 6 words over the limit morshy set. I really apologize for making that error. I'm only human, and as I said my editor was asleep so I have to take the blame for all these gross errors.