midnightpoet

Thanks Arw for choosing me!

The word count this time will be 204.

No three word penalty, try to use the word exactly as it is.

tea
contrite
crayon
speaker
vulgar
remote
nothing
crushing
satisfied
charm

C an't wait to see what you guys write!

Robindcr8l

OK, I have to admit I stole Dragon's idea of using a song to inspire the piece. I think it's obvious which song... 204 words not including the title.

How I Died, by an Old Lady

My day started in a contrite way, listening to the speaker on the radio drone on about vulgar things such as politics. I noticed the fly swimming in my cup of tea. I don’t know why but I drank anyway. I immediately started to worry. I clicked off the radio with the remote, so I could think in silence. I had an idea with enough charm to seduce me. I swallowed a spider. It wiggled, and wriggled, and jiggled inside me, but it didn’t eat the fly. This was a crushing blow. So...I ate a bird! ( I know it’s absurd!) From there it progressed...I ate a cat, (Imagine that?) and a dog (don’t think me a hog!). My face was turning the color of a magenta crayon by now, but none of these creatures took care of the original problem. So...I opened my throat and swallowed a goat. Now, I was desperate. All of those creatures in my gut, and still that fly was intact down there. So... I don’t know how, but I swallowed a cow. And then, as full as I was, I just HAD to resolve this issue, so... I swallowed a horse! I’m dead now, of course!

Robindcr8l

Now, when you read my entry, keep in mind I just got off of my third twelve-hour night shift in a row and have had no sleep yet. I leave you all to shake your heads at my oddness now, while I go off to bed. Good night.
;)

Dragon

OMG, that was fantastic Robin. I'm still smiling over it!
Also, good word list, can't wait to use vulgar in a story!

midnightpoet

Robin, I read that right after you posted it, and I've been chuckling all day.

I forgot to mention that I'll announce a new torch bearer next Tuesday (6/23) at noon TD time.

Login

You're not odd, Robin. You're delightfully funny. More, more, more!

anotherronism

“Route 204 Is Icy As Hell” by Ron

Holden Caulfield sat buried in empty chip bags. In front of him were nine empty Red Bull cans and a sickly looking cat. In his lap was a snazzy laptop he’d borrowed from his sister Phoebe.

He was logged onto Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and Blogspot.

An e-mail popped up on his screen: “DBCaulfied204 Wrote on Your Wall.”

He tweeted “My brother’s girlfriend has big boobs.”

Satisfied, he sent it to all four of his followers.

He did an iTunes search for “Buddy Singer”. He turned up the laptop speaker then remembered: ‘Oh yeah. That band is so putrid.’

He clicked the Blogspot window and added an entry:

“Went to tea today with Moms and Pops. I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. I got kicked out of Pencey and they just found out. So I’m all contrite like and I start doodling with the stupid crayon they give you at HoJo. I put on my ‘I’m not a vulgar teenage boy’ look and then I get all remote and distant. And it’s like they’ve got nothing. That’s when I pour on the old charm.”

“God it just crushes me how they fall for it. I mean – ‘It’s crushing to me…’”

anotherronism

"Route 204" is entirely inspired by the word-count for this iteration. I've been re-readin Catcher in the Rye and had just recently read about Holden crossing Route 204 and his comment that it was "Icy as hell." Then I say the word count and I've been doing some 'spoofs' recently so I thought "Why not..."

anotherronism

It's actually a funny thing. One of the reasons I fished out my old copy of this book is an attempt to understand my 15yo niece and 11yo nephew.

And it's amazing to me how Holden Caulfield just no longer stands up as an example of teenage angst. He who was so completely DISconnected versus those today which are so completely connected.

Yet - the simmering anger is there then and now. The flippant arrogance and sarcasm and the ridiculous "absolutes".

I love my niece and nephew more than anyone on this planet. But wow! It's hard to connect.

I never liked this book, by the way. It was required reading when I was in high school and it did have an impact on me (especially when Reagan was shot). I read it ten times trying to figure out what the big deal was. But it's Holden himself I never liked. Such a whimpering, even sniveling little ass...

But then - I'm no literature major and Salinger has "gotten" me elsewhen (hey - anybody remember THAT word?) with a short story called "A Fine Day for Bananna Fish"

But I digress...

Congrats to the new torch-bearer (Midnight, I Think???)

Great word list and my personal thanks for rescinding the word-usage penalty thingy.

I'll try to do some more pieces this week but it's already shaping up into one of "those" weeks.

Ron

anotherronism

Robin: I know some music but not all by any means. I've got exactly nothing from your story. What is the song?

(I don't mean I didn't like your story. I did. But I got no glimmer of recognition for a well-known song...)

midnightpoet

Ron, it's a children's song. "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly"

midnightpoet

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I dunno why she swallowed that fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a spider,
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly -
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a bird;
How absurd, to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly -
Perhaps she'll die

There was an old lady who swallowed a cat.
Imagine that, she swallowed a cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

There was an old lady who swallowed a dog.
What a hog! To swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat...
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a goat.
Just opened her throat and swallowed a goat!
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog ...
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a cow.
I don't know how she swallowed a cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat...
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog...
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat...
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a horse -
She's dead, of course

mebu27

Small Town Murder.

The killer drank his tea slowly,
in the room he’d left his dismembered victim.
Mrs. Maria Clavey the young sexy Mayor.

His demeanor wasn’t even the slightest bit contrite
as he reread the murder message out loud, that he had written in
crayon on the victims mirror. It said,

“You hate someone whom you really wish to love, but whom you cannot love. Perhaps he himself prevents you. That is a disguised form of love.”

When officer at the precinct heard about the murder on the loud speaker.
She went to learn the details from the captain.
She couldn’t believe how vulgar the circumstances were.

The officer knew there was a remote possibility that it was
the same killer that killed her sister one year before.

Once she arrived at the crime scene and read the quote on the mirror,
she knew it was the same killer nothing would have changed her mind.

It was a crushing blow her, last year to almost capture her sister’s murder.
this time she wouldn’t stop until she was satisfied and he was put behind bars for life his charm wasn’t going to fool her this time.
She walked into a diner and he was slowly drinking tea.

midnightpoet

I love the way the end ties right back to the beginning!

mebu27

I was hoping my story was to grizzly for a g rated website...

mebu27

uhg WASN'T * - wasn't to grizzely....

charityb98

Tea Time

Almost every day at around 3’o clock my daughter and I have tea time together. I serve decaffeinated Earl Gray tea, hot with honey and milk and we indulge ourselves with cookies and other sweet treats. We often have some paper and a crayon or two lying around to entertain ourselves as we eat. I sometimes think of drawing something vulgar for my own giggles, but I know I would be contrite afterwards, she is two and NOTHING gets by her. She would be reenacting my drawing at Sunday School or something! I don’t really want to explain why my two year old knows why boobs and eyes look similar to “Miss Elaine”!

When we’re satisfied, we click the TV remote and watch The Wiggles. It’s crushing to realize I’m 29 years old and I know every word coming from the speaker! But man, can she charm you when she dances and sings along and can barely say “Nenry da Octopus”. She really is amazing, she can watch a show a few times and know all the actions, and even sing along. I have to cherish these times.

When it comes down to it, I really do have the best job in the world.

charityb98

So that little "story" is actually 100% true...not really any imagination required...I'll have to do another one

Robindcr8l

Wow! There are already some really great contributions with this list. I love a good murder mystery, mebu, and Midnight is right...that ending has just the right touch of irony! And Charity, You pulled those words together to write the perfect autobiography! It created the sweetest visual of the two of you having your daily tea parties, and really captuers the essence of a parent/ child relationship.

Ron, I liked your take-off of Catcher in The Rye and agree with you about never really connecting with the original book. I, too, remember rereading it when Reagan was shot and not getting it. Your version was better, and certainly spoke of today's youth. I should know...I have a 12yo!

I was slightly disappointed in you, though, Ron, that you had never heard the song about the old woman and the fly. Seemed right up your alley of absurdity! lol. I did a pic here on TD of it several days ago, and ever since I read Dragon's story of "A Horse With No Name", I was dying to do a Thinkwrite version of the old lady and the fly. You know, the irony with that song is in the end, she DOES successfully kill that fly!

G'night!

midnightpoet

That is really sweet, Charity! I can identify...I have a 2-year-old, also...and she loves the Wiggles!