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Qsilv
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Small addition to these gentle, wise offerings -
"You've either always had it you'll never have it" is, in general, true enough...
BUT -- it's not an all or nothing thing. It's measurable along a continuum...
...and when just high enough to create vision and drive, but not so high that you can't control the expression of it, aspects of it are absolutely a treasure... and you can be a gift to world at large... and especially the people around you.
Ron-- you're already dear.
; >
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solosater
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Reply to both anotherronism and mostblessedone,
I agree, if you haven't got him medicated yet do so! My stepfather (45yrs) only just started medication (Adderall) and do you know he cried. His first day on the job with the meds he was like a new man: things got done, in order, and to everyone’s satisfaction, even his own.
He grew up thinking he was just not able to learn (he is the child of 1st generation Polish emigrants) and due to some really terrible teachers and their really whacked way of dealing with troubles kids, he felt stupid. That feeling has never left him.
These days we have such better training in our schools and even as parents we are better educated to look for these problems and to deal with them but still people fall through the cracks.
I was not diagnosed as ADD until I was in my mid twenties. I’ve never been hyperactive and was easy to call lazy instead of being seen as someone who really needed help. The OCD was something I used to joke about until my therapist said not only do I have it but the type I have, associated with the ADD type, is not treatable with meds, I’m hardwired for it. Perhaps Shock Therapy?~) Umm, no!
And as for addiction, did you know that something like the top 14% of people who are terribly intelligent (high IQ) are alcoholics or otherwise addicted? People who are very intelligent and people who find it hard to relate to others are more susceptible to these problems. As a child of an alcoholic father and the sister of a heroin-addicted brother, I can back this up. My father was what some would have called a “Jack of all trades†and here’s the kicker he was also a “Master†of most. He could do, build, design or draw anything when I was growing up. That’s not just my pride speaking, his work is still around in houses and buildings in the area, and in files in my Arts & Crafts department at home. He was a true genius; mind you due to his lifestyle he died at 55 of old age. My brother is similar, he’s very smart about mechanical things, building and design, he’s recently built his own computer from the ground up & he’s a high school dropout who never even took any vocational schooling and still can’t read. You know the whole “driven to drink†thing? I believe it! I’m not saying there’s any excuse to abuse drugs or alcohol, I’m saying when you are so intelligent you can’t have a conversation with most people you meet, it may seem the thing to do, and unfortunately, people with terribly high IQ’s often have no “common†sense at all.
Ron, funny both my father and my brother are Rons too, I know you say it’s a choice and you are not wrong, but you can choose to seek and find help. I hope you do. Also the whole relapsing thing, remember that alcoholism and other addictive disorders are diseases without cures, you will never be cured of it but you can recover. Good luck!
And mostblessedone, please keep an eye on your son, these problems present in males in their teens and early twenties, my brother was 19 years old before he smoked his first cigarette and 21 before his first drink, he’s 34 now and hasn’t been “clean†for more than 6 months at a time since. Please be vigilant.
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