chelydra

BBC Radio 4 recently broadcast a long in-depth program about adults who enter web sites and create the persona of a lovable, eloquent and fascinating child who is bravely struggling with a fatal illness. Heartstrings resonate. Minds are engaged. Advice and encouragement are offered. The zigzagging but relentless progress of the disease is described but the child's wonderfully mature and selfless personality remains intact to the end. At some point after a message of two from the netherworld of hospitals and the last desperate futile treatments, the messages stop coming. Sometimes (a variation on the theme) there's a terse but tearful follow-up from the child's family passing on the sad news that the child has departed from this world, but often there's just silence -- and the perpetrator's deepest gratification is seeing how deeply the web site's genuine members have been affected by the charade.
This can become an addition, and most perps are repeat offenders, trying their luck on a series of sites, creating a new sick child each time. Usually the sites targetted are support networks concerned with a specific disease, but that can be problematic if the perpetrator slips up and gets in over their head with discussions of operations, medications, or symptoms that can't always be convincingly counterfeited. So forays into virgin territory (sites and forums that are not concerned primarily with illness or death) can be easier and more fun.
Of course the ugliest effect of this syndrome is that if a real-life brave, gifted, fascinating child really does seek friendship and emotional support on the web, there's the suspicion of fakery. So perhaps the late lamented Kleinrock really was who he said he was — but he fits the pattern the BBC program described exactly. To me, his messages and his profile to do not ring true. I can more easily imagine them created by an adult pretender than by an 11-year-old lad succumbing to leukemia. The good news, of course (if my suspicions are correct), is that we can thank the good lord for sparing poor little kleinrock all his terrible sufferings and know that somewhere the person we knew as kleinrock is probably alive and well (at least physically well).

chelydra

Typo: meant to write, this can become an ADDICTION (not addition).
I'm bringing up this topic partly because (a) I've been coming across evidence in archived galleries of how deeply some members were affected by kleinrock's tragic saga and by his adorable, brilliant mind, (b) earlier today I was corresponding with someone on the net about the undercover agent provocateurs who seduce inexperienced radical types into terrorist actions and this got me thinking about the subtle signals that reveal fake personas, and (3) our recent experience of getting pulled into RadRook's fun & games (me more than anyone) has shown that it's a good idea to keep one's guard up a little bit even in the open and friendly atmosphere of ThinkDraw (as a way of preserving that atmosphere, though at the expense of losing the automatic trusting acceptance that greets interesting new members).

Hazer

Good advise, chelydra. Thanks for bringing this to our attention.

chelydra

This isn't really a topic that needs to get any discussion going. It's just that after hearing that program, and later taking a fresh look at kleinrock's contributions to the site, and the outpouring of real love he inspired, and then the sadness as he fell silent, it seemed better to say something on this subject than not.
In closing, I think it's worth noting the differences as well as the similarities between this syndrome (which has a name, something like Internet Munchausen's) and related deceptive and manipulative practices...
When an agent provocateur infilitrates a group that has some kind of radical or reformist agenda, and then latches onto nieve marginal young people in the group who often care so deeply about the cause (which may be anything from saving trees to hating Jews) they want to do something more dramatic about it, the result may be bombs that get people killed... When a paedophile uses internet chat to groom a target child in preparation for a meeting in person, this exploits that child's natural affection and adventurousness and trust -- and the resulting unspeakable acts may include murder... but this business of impersonating an adorable, interesting kid with a tragic terminal illness has an opposite effect... It gets its deceived victims in touch with their own best instincts, and even the grief at the passing of the invented child has a kind of gentle nobility that may do more good than harm, if it helps activate compassion that could then be transferred to real people (or animals or houseplants) in need of tender loving care... So unlike the other deceptions, this one seems relatively forgivable... and no one needs to feel ashamed or angry if you fell for it --- and I should note again that I don't really know whether kleinrock was real or invented.

Normal

Interesting info. Thank goodness, ThinkDrawers are mostly exactly who they appear to be. We can enjoy each other's narky little quirks and share a gentle spirit of adventure as we navigate life's potholes and speedbumps.

Apparently I completely missed the kleinrock saga, but still think fondly of the sweetness of gremmy, who joined us for a while before she left the planet. I expect that when we encounter the occasional visitor with obviously loose screws, it helps to remember we can't fix them with words.

clorophilla

I want to add my point of view. I give mother-to-mother support on a voluntary basis in a non-lucrative organization, and often we are contacted via mail or phone. Very rarely, we had some fake person with annoyed our volunteers with apparently very realistic situation but becoming more and more complicated etc etc.
It could be frustrating, yet my opinion is: for me, it's OK anyone that ask my support, real or fake. The fakes are a good way to take exercise about empathy, active listening, compassion, updating in the issues of our matter. Why not? Our energy, expecially if it's given with a good attitude, is never a waste of time. May be some year later we'll meet a REAL people who need the same kind of help, and we just will be ready, having had practice with the "fake" guy

This could apply even to a "entertaining" site like this: offering empathy, giving help with a good mood and willingly, it's always a balm for our soul/spirit/mind, regardless of the genuineness of the request.

Normal

Clo is right - it never hurts to exercise our compassion muscles!

The fakers need it as well, just not for the stated reasons.