Lizzi

Glad to hear you are doing well, Hazer. Your poor husband has been through so much, but cancer is no longer unbeatable. And Angela, -Do as Brunnhilde told you!

Ilikecolor

I have different mental illnesses and been working on getting better. (Prayer, counseling, support groups and medication.) I have an appointment soon to start the process of possibly receiving help with food stamps, work or financial assistance and I will also be needing housing. (Been staying with a friend.) I just hope everything goes well with my appointment and that I receive all the help I can get right now because I need it. Thank you for reading this. Also, I've recently joined a wonderful online support group for physical and mental illnesses, if anyone is interested. It's... http://www.mdjunction.com/

bluemoon

Hello Ilikecolor, I send you all my best good wishes. You are so creative and such a good soul. I hope things are brighter soon.

lesley_gene

Hazer, so happy to hear your surgery went well, you and your husband are in my prayers. Ilikecolor, you too are in my prayers, I am thankful you are seeking help through so many directions. God Bless you!

Ilikecolor

Hope you get better Angela. Thank you very much, bluemoon and lesley gene. I appreciate the kind words, well wishes and prayers. Change is really difficult and it seems like everything is changing all at once. God must have plans. My job is to trust.

Hazer

Just take one day at a time, Ilikecolor. It's always the uncertainty of change that is hard and I pray that the changes you face will make things easier for you.

Ilikecolor

Good advice. Thank you Hazer. I pray for you and your husband to get healthier and stronger.

Hazer

Thanks for your prayers everyone. We didn't have good news the last time we saw the oncologist. He says the cancer has spread to the bones, something he told us he had never seen happen before. Although according to him there is nothing ordinary about my husband. He told my husband it was up to him if he wanted to quit treatment. His blood counts are so low now that he wasn't able to have the last two doses of chemo. He will have to have a blood transfusion Tuesday morning which is the soonest they could get him in. Then if the white blood cell count is back up he will resume treatment on Thursday.
My husband asked what would happen if he quit treatment and was told that he would be dead in three to four months. We don't know how long his body will be able to tolerate the chemo but his oncologist is willing to continue treatment as long as my husband wants to .
He was in a lot of pain yesterday and today but we have managed to get the pain under control for now.
We plan to go out to our new acreage after his next chemo treatment to see how things are coming along. His family has been working non stop mowing grass, painting, putting on a new deck and in general trying to have it ready to move into as soon as possible. They are hoping to have some fencing done so that his horses can be there to greet him. I hope and pray that he will have some time to enjoy it.

mrozowski

I will continue to keep you both in my prayers.

mdawrcn

So sorry to hear this news Hazer. Hugs and prayers for you and husband.

stevedover1965

Hazer that really is sad news, I hope your husband can enjoy his time with you and his horses on the ranch and be happy. Our thoughts are with you both.

Chrissyjoy

Really sorry you are going through such a difficult time right now. Know you are both in our thoughts x

Hazer

Thank you my TD friends. I read this today and was encouraged so I'd like to share it with you.

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is a product of their thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful.Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stop lights, long lines or traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.
I will be grateful for the twenty four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to let what little time I have be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink in each moment as though it were my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever.While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.
I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes. I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It's OK to stumble...I will get up. It's OK to fail....I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.
I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing but be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking, or hugging, or thanking, or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, my family, my friends. Today I will make a difference.

...now I'm off to share this with hubby. I'm needing lots of that courage of a giant! It's something that my husband seems to have by the bucket full, bless his heart.

hanging

Hazer... you are so beautiful. Well said beautifully.
The most beauty in human-being is strength, trying to be strong, I think.
And your effort is shining now.
I keep thinking about you and your family.

bluemoon

I agree with hanging Hazer, that you are beautiful! And your husband is amazing ! My heart is with you both.

matthew

That is amazing Hazer... Awe inspiring...

matthew

Added that to facebook... very uplifting...

Hazer

After spending a few days at our new acreage in Saskatchewan we came back to Calgary and got my husband admitted to the hospital again. He will need to have a stint put into his bile duct as it is apparently completely blocked. We knew something was going wrong because he has been getting jaundiced again. He is so anxious to get back to his beautiful acreage so he will be able to bring his beloved horses home and enjoy them again.
He refuses to believe that the cancer has spread to his bones and amazes the doctors every time they see him. They expect that he will be coming in on a stretcher or at the very least using a wheelchair. But not my husband...he walks into the hospital unaided and lets them know in no uncertain terms that he plans on living for a long time yet.
It is now one year since the cancer began to present itself.

jspi0025

Dear Hazer,
I am passing through your same experience,not with my husband but with my sister. For these last six years she suffered from Cancer in her vagina.She went through round about a year's treatment on chimo,all to nothing.Now she stopped it completely.However what amazes me about her is her strenght and will power to live. Every time she visits her oncology professor,he tells her,"You really amaze me!"She is an executive secretary and she still attends work,even though at times,she feels a bit tired and week due to her condition. In 11 months time her daughter is getting married,and she is busy with the preparations. I hope ,in God that she will make it until her daughter's marriage. Dear hazer,I know how hard it is for you to plug up courage. In your heart you feel pity for your loved ones as you know that you will soon loose them.At the same time you must act as if nothing serious is happening, in front of them!! She is my closest sister,and I feel very sad that I'm going to loose her. However,looking at her courageous comportament she fills me with hope,and courage. I never ask her ,"how are you" but I just be there whenever she needs me. And I feel a sense of satisfaction when I serve her. God gives these people a lot of courage,and they are the ones that teach us!!.Always in my prayers HazerXXX

Hazer

Hugs to you and your sister jspi! It takes a lot of strength and courage to act as if nothing is wrong in front of them!!
I almost lost my husband this morning but God spared his life once again.
When I got to the hospital this morning they had just brought him back from surgery. He started shaking violently. I called the nurse and soon there were 5 nurses at his bedside taking his vitals. His temperature had dropped to 47/22 and his temperature was soaring. They said that bacteria had gotten into his bloodstream from the procedure. I prayed God would show them what to do and within half an hour they had him stabilized and he was sitting on the edge of the bed and ate all his lunch! That was our miracle for today! I could not believe how deathly sick he got within minutes!
Two oncologists came to his room and said that they were not able to put in the stint because there is a new tumor in his liver that is blocking his bile ducts. They cannot remove it surgically and they can't give him any more chemo until the jaundice and infection clear up.
He tells me "It's okay, honey. We will get through this." It breaks my heart.