solosater

As far as the end date how about midnight Sunday evening, TD time. It will be less than a week but then perhaps we can keep it to the weekend if that’s what we all like seems a good idea for most who have to work during the week.

As for your feedback thanks, I thought it a good story myself; not to explicit, I don’t like it when fiction details rape for titillation, on the other hand it happens and I don’t think it should be ignored.

mostblessedone, you are aware I stole your crown, you’re not going to retaliate are you, and where are your stories???

anotherronism

Revelation by Ron

It moved under her. Not too odd. Not now.

Sheets of cold rain beaded on her dress like so many drops of oil.

He’d been gone some time now. She was no fan of this method but her suspicion that it was correct was well-founded. She was cold.

He would come soon. His integrity was sound. She was still cold.

She wanted not to be still - to move. She knew warmth was just that close.

Their alliance had begun when she was so young herself. But she liked him. She did. They were playful together.

She’d had other suitors, salty boys with so many wild calls and sudden expectations. It was a carnival time and they were carnival boys.

But he - his malevolence to them and tenderness to her – these things won her notice.

He won her heart challenging automobiles on the boulevard. Playing... Always playing… Only for her.

It moved beneath her. She adjusted herself. It settled.

She listened to the afternoon. Would he call?

It was her job to be here - to do this.

It was his job to return after these trips.

She trusted him but worried. She was cold.

But felt it was warm.

solosater

Ron is she sittin' on a dragon's egg? And is this inre your pic by the same name?

mostblessedone

Solosater, Yes, I am aware. You stole it fair and square I left a comment on ThinkWriteII forum yesterday. No retaliations. You're doing a great job. Just keep on keepin' on!

solosater

I later saw that reply so knew you weren't after me with a baseball bat; thanks for that, btw.

I'm looking forward to your stories, I know we'll have to wait until the weekend but guess what?

It's here!

mostblessedone

Okay, here goes. 200 words plus title. This was a challenging list.


FREE

No doubt you are aware of my suspicion.

I once fell for your enticements. Oh, did I ever fall. I could write sheets and sheets on the joys you once promised. Now your integrity, or lack thereof, has been shown for what it is.

Deceit.

Slavery.

Cold-blooded and masterful usurpation of my mind and ultimately my body.

Well, it all hit the fan one day. Reflected in the windows along the boulevard, I saw the truth. Seventy-nine pounds of it, to be exact. And the truth has set me free.

You try to hide your malevolence. In the past, that alliance with your salty counterparts was successful, to say the least, but your bogus claims lure me no more. You and your fat sweetness can crouch in those carnival- pink striped boxes until you’ve petrified. Your friends in the crinkly bags can hover until they become nasty, salty, greasy lumps.

I have shed this relationship, just as I have also shed those pounds.

Now I delight in the natural crunch of fresh veggies; the fragrance of fruit just off the vine. My love lingers on the crystalline clarity of water from the well.

Aaaah! The sweet, sweet taste of revenge!

anotherronism

Solo: Nope. Not a dragon. Just a bird - any bird.

It is related to the picture I submitted yesterday:

http://www.thinkdraw.com/picture.php?pictureId=40167

But I got caught up on this story with the word list and especially the word count. It's basically unfinished and I should've changed the name because I never got to my ultimate goal which is the hatching of the egg and the chick's very first view of the world which, in this mini-world was to have been a sunrise.

I did a pic the other day of a flamingo. I'd thrown in some little background details which accidentily looked like a big claw overhead. It was an accident but generated some concepts and I've fallen immaturely in love with the idea.

The eye piece above was not intended to be a dragon or a bird or anything. I've just been playing with "eyes" the past couple weeks and this was nothing but an excercise in color.

But just before I hit submit I added a vague detail which could be teeth, could be trees at the base of a mountain or even worshipers below an eye-sun rising.

But it's just silliness. Doesn't mean a thing.

anotherronism

-concepts +comments

solosater

So then she was not a human but a female bird of the same species? You are not writing fantasy?

It's a good piece and I like it, but really, live a little do some fantasy!

Or at least lithp a little;-)

solosater

Mostblessedone, “Free” is fabulous! I really didn’t get it until I read, “just as I have also shed those pounds.” this is like a perfect affirmation.

You used the word usurpation, well done +10 points! I’m not keeping score. Really though, what a great word for how our bodies can be taken over totally against our will by our own bad habits.

midnightpoet

200 words, not including title...

"Hurting You"

The bed is lonely now, without you. When I lie down, the sheets are cold. Even on the hottest nights, I don’t need a fan to keep me cool. Your absence has turned the bed into a freezer that I’m forced to sleep in. And by sleeping in it, I’m forced to remember my wrongs. I really didn’t mean to hurt you.

I never claimed to have integrity. But what I did was not done with malevolence. Your suspicion was absolutely correct, but it was never to hurt you.

I don’t know the words to say to make you understand just what happened and how sorry I am. Please believe me when I say, it wasn’t about you. I didn’t want to hurt you.

I walked down the boulevard that night, the lights of the carnival washing over me. I could hear the screams of children enjoying the rides. The smells of cotton candy and greasy pizza were thick in the air. I stared through the crowds of people, looking for you…I saw him. We formed an unspoken alliance, an alliance of nasty thoughts and salty desires. And yes, we followed through.

I never wanted to hurt you. Believe me.

solosater

Wow, midnight (is midnight ok, would poet be better or are you just not for shortening your name, let me know), isn't that the truth; infidelity is rarely about our partner but a lack of self control, and even sometimes just not thinking until it's too late.

It is an irreversible injury, not only for the innocent party but too for the guilty.

I think this was a well-written slice of what one would go through in the aftermath.

Very nice, or at least very compelling.

solosater

Hello All Think Writers,

Just a reminder that today is the last day for entries to TW-III. Please have all of your stories submitted by midnight EST. I will post the next torchbearer within the hour after (By 1:00 AM EST Monday).

There are already several winning stories but more to choose from is always a good thing; keep ‘em comin’!!!

I look forward to reading them all.

midnightpoet

Solo, you may call me whatever suits your fancy. I have no preference in how my screenname is shortened or not shortened. In fact, in many places I frequent online, I have people call me by my RL nickname, Jesi, so feel free to use that if you prefer.

solosater

Thanks, I'll probably just confuse the issue terribly by calling you at some point by all of them;-)

five

One more...

"Behind The Scenes"

The carnival likes humidity: thirsty people buy cold drinks to wash down their salty treats.

Away from the busy boulevard, George and a man he just met stand toe to toe. George cranes his neck for a better look at the man’s eyes.

“Keep it to yourself,” George says.

“Let’s make an alliance,” the man says, holding out a hand. The hand is damp. The man wipes his palm hard across his sleeve. “What do you say?”

“Are you a Houdini fan?” George asks.

“Who isn’t?”

“Me.”

“I could take this up with your boss.” It is exactly what George expected the man to say.

George long ago had stopped looking for integrity; he knows first hand petty meanness quickly adds up to nasty malevolence. He airs his suspicion: “Your kind’ll do that no matter what.”

The man folds his arms across his chest and glares down at George. “I’m a man of my word, and I’m not cleaning up someone else’s sheets.”

“Whatever.” George says, pulling a hundred-dollar bill from his pocket. The man grabs the money so fast it tears, leaving a corner pressed between George’s thumb and forefinger.

“It’s still good.” George says. “Good enough to spend.”

midnightpoet

Very nice. Definitely piqued my curiosity!

solosater

Oh, mine too.

midnightpoet

191 words...I changed malevolence, suspicion, and carnival. No title.

I can’t really tell you why I was suspicious of her. She was unquestionably friendly. She hadn’t done anything to make me question her integrity. In fact, I liked her quite a bit.

Still, I felt I couldn’t trust her. She was almost too outgoing, and the way she seemed to form an alliance with everyone she talked to was rather unnerving. Maybe that was the key. Maybe she was one of those nasty alliance spies, coming to gather information, or worse, sabotage us.

There was absolutely nothing malevolent about her. The day we sat, looking out at the boulevard, we talked for a while. I really did like her.

I learned so much about her that day. She told me she liked carnivals. That she didn’t like her food too salty. She said she was a fan of heavy metal. She was a lesbian and a liberal.

I don’t know whether or not I was surprised the day she handed me three folders stuffed with sheets of official paper documenting her betrayal.

And, in the end, I couldn’t honestly tell you if I was sad about the way she died.

solosater

I don't know if that was supposed to or not but that made me laugh!!! SOOO off-hand.

Is this about the game you play???