solosater

Yeah, now I just wanna' cry; so unfair, so unjustifiable, so scary really.

Qsilv

er.. wait.. wha? matthew's comment #53 saying "Qsilv... who has lost touch with reality"??

I'm losing touch with a corner of it now, apparently... lol... it's flown several inches over the top of my head!

If you mean my story of notes, that's an interesting take on it.

The writer of the notes doesn't lose touch anywhere in there... she simply sees what's happened, goes through a series of typical stages in dealing with it, writing a series of notes that she starts but doesn't complete - til the last one where she winds up much as she started --back in control and still gracious.

; >

solosater

That's what I said? I haven't clue what he was saying; probably nothing bad just vague.

solosater

I'm out for the night all, have a good one. I'll check in tomorrow for any new posts.

midnightpoet

So many good pieces...and I want to comment on every one...but I feel I have nothing really to say except "wow"...

midnightpoet

I just realized I forgot to add the word "fan" to my story... I had a place I was going to use it and just forgot, and now I've got the 200 words, and can't add anything else...so I'll just have to write another piece...but for now, off to school to take my final test of the semester...

Dragon

Actually, I found 'fan' one of the hardest words to use this time around, that a 'boulevard'. Though I must say, sometimes the words that you first look at and think "OMG how am I going to use that?" end up leading you to the most interesting stories.

Dragon

Had the morning off today, and I thought what a good time to write again. I'm not quite as happy with this one as I am with my others, but I'm running out of ways to use Malevolence and Alliance and I hate to use them in a repetitive way. Here goes, 200 words, not including title.
The Ocean

They found me on the boulevard. I’d had a nasty suspicion they would, but couldn’t keep myself from coming anyway. I’ve always been a fan of the carnival and I’m sure they knew it. So I found myself ducking down alleys, running from those I’d once called my brothers and sisters. They knew me well, but I had hunted alongside them so many times I knew their ways too, and soon I was far ahead of them.

I could smell the salty tang of the ocean in the air, reminding me of the salty blood we had so frequently drank together... before I betrayed them. I could hear the ocean too, the soft susurrus of the waves and somewhere to my right the sound of sheets snapping in the wind. Someone had forgotten to bring their laundry in for the night. But the ocean above all. It had such integrity, such an absolute lack of malevolence, and it had no alliance with men, or the night folk.

Perhaps I could make a crossing, there was nothing for me here. My love was dead, they saw to that. Afterall, that was my betrayal, to fall in love with a mortal man.

solosater

Nice Dragon. Very nice!

midnightpoet

Dragon, I don't understand what you mean by "Perhaps I could make a crossing"...but I love the story!

solosater

Crossing the ocean.

Dragon

solosater's got it right, just an oldie time way of saying crossing the ocean. But now that you mention it, let's say I was being enigmatic and that it could also mean crossing over into death, 'cause it's a cooler ending if you don't quite know.

solosater

No reason to live for an immortal when her man is dead?

Dragon

Well, her love is dead, her family hates her and is trying to send her to her final death. She can't go to the carnival. She might be contemplating killing herself, though how the undead might go about that I'm not sure. When I wrote it I just meant crossing the ocean, but midnight poet's question made me think maybe the ending was a little deeper than I had originally intended.

solosater

She could just let them catch her; she could watch the sunrise.

solosater

I'd like some feedback.

Trust No One & For One Night Only were just kinda for fun but how did I do on Debased?

Any opinions?

mostblessedone

Solosater, I just reread Debased. Again. It seems to me you did a wonderful job of telling what happened without saying it. In addition, you spelled out the aftermath in a clever montage of salt, smell, and sorrow.

midnightpoet

Solo, just reread Debased...it's a very vague story, and conveys the point quite clearly without saying... quite well written.

Dragon

solo, I too thought Debased was excellently written. At the start I thought maybe it was going to be a mutually pleasurably meeting sort of story, but then it turned very dark. The comment about not know he was following set my alarm bells ringing. Very good story, and one that makes you think.

Dragon

Didn't see at the beginning but is there a deadline for this challenge? Or are you keeping it a secret as to when you'll pick the next torch-bearer?