solosater

I had not caught the title to Dragon's story; it makes a huge difference. And as for the baby shoes, well that nearly made my cry.

But the information was very helpful Ron, thanks.

anotherronism

Solosater... That Hemingway story is my all-time, all-time favorite...

I believe it's more than a story... I Think it actually says something about who we are and, maybe, why we're here in the 1st place....

solosater

Well I'm not sure I'd go that far but it is certainly profound, profoundly sad and demoralizing. I guess there could be the argument made that they just never fit but I know that child died or was never born and either way it is devastating.

One way or the other, thank you for sharing it, I may have missed it and I’m glad I didn’t.

solosater

200 words including the title

It’s a little hard to read but I hope you enjoy it anyway.


"Thwollen"

That evil dwarf of a doctor thaid there MAY be thome adverth reactthunth; perhapth thome melancholy or even unexthplained anger, but nothing about my tongue thwelling!

Then when I called hith offith to make an appointment hith thaff couldn’t underthand a word I shaid tho now I have to go down to that horribly thaped waiting room (can you imagine, they made a triangle thaped room) with that ugly floral pattern on the wallth and tho them my tongue and hope they get the idea that I need to thee the doctor.

Tho There I am in the docterth offith and heth looking at me like I’m thome thort of magical being.

“Exthellent!” he exclaimed with a thmile on hith ugly mug (he didn’t lithp but I’m telling the thtory and I do).

“Exthellent?” I ask. How can thith be exthellent?

He thaith that “In profound cathes of my particular dithorder, the medithine can Cauthe the tongue to thwell,” apparently heth never theen it and it’th tho rare he wantth to do a thtudy on me and my phythiology for a medical journal.

I thaid I don’t think tho you little runt, my phythiology ain’t none o’ their beethwaxth!

solosater

There are extra spelling errors as I really couldn't do a proper spell check on this one; perhaps you'll not even notice.

anotherronism

HA ha HA ha HAHA!

Well done! Golf-clap, opera clap, golf-clap, etc...

anotherronism

This is PG-13 but - that was fucking brilliant!

anotherronism

I don't even know what it was about - but I'm still laughing...

nice. Really nice.

I'll say this right now to everyone. This is the piece to beat. I've already made up my mind.

So bring the big jets and make me cough up a lung.

solosater

Thank you, Ron.

I'm glad it made you laugh.

midnightpoet

200 words not including title
"It's not easy being two"

It’s not easy being two.

Mommy says it’s the “terrible twos,” but I try real hard not to be terrible.

Sometimes, I’m terrible on purpose. Then I see Mommy’s anger. She says, “stop it!” and “No, No, NO!” She even called me an evil dwarf once.

Sometimes, I don’t listen just to see what Mommy will do. It’s not easy being two.

Mommy is the smartest person in the world, but sometimes she’s silly. She says she feels “melancholy.” I think that’s a type of veggie, but she doesn’t look green to me.

Mommy tells me all about the world. She told me about a magical thing called dreaming! She kissed me, tucked me under my floral pattern blanket, and told me “sweet dreams.”

Mommy teaches me profound things, like how beehives are full of beeswax, and how to recognize shapes like triangles. When I point to the right one, she says, “Excellent job, baby girl.” That makes me feel special.

Sometimes, I don’t know what Mommy means when she’s talking to me. She says words like “hence”, and “phosphorescence”, and “adverse”. One day I’ll be as smart as Mommy and know all those words…

It’s not easy being two.

midnightpoet

ROFLMAO, Solosater! That was awesome...and as I have a bit of a lisp myself, I was able to read it with ease! Thanks for the laugh, I needed that this morning.

Dragon

solosater, that was exthellent! Loved it.

Dragon

Thought I'd start off this one with the evil dwarf. 200 words not including title.

Death of a Triangle

“Me triangle,” the evil dwarf screamed at me, “Ye’ve kilt me triangle!”

I, of course, knew nothing about the crumpled, bleeding triangle lying at his feet.

“Ye malevolent, warty, witch!! I’ve had that triangle since it was just a babe, it wasn’t even equilateral yet!” I suppose that only a magical creature like him could manage to have such intense anger and profound melancholy in his voice at once. Not to mention the fact that he was going on and on about a triangle, I mean it wasn’t like it was something important like a dodecahedron or anything.

“Hey,” I pointed my crooked finger in his surprisingly floral patterned face, “A malevolent witch I may be, but I am not warty! You, on the other hand... you know I have an excellent beeswax potion that’ll take care of that, no adverse reactions.”

“Don’t ye try an’ wiggle outa this witch. I know it was you. I’ve heared ye kilt me square too.”

Now he was getting on my nerves, so I hit him with my paralytic stick. His floral patterned face turned to stone along with the rest of him.

But how did he know that I’d killed his square?

solosater

Thank you midnightpoet and Dragon, I’m glad you both enjoyed my story.

midnightpoet, I hope I didn't offend if you do in fact have a lisp, I didn't intend to make fun and kinda worried a little about it.

I loved your story, "It's not easy being two". I’ve been, among many other things in my time, a nanny and I've often thought that if more parents were more patient and consistent with their children the “twos” wouldn't be so terrible. I love that you told this from her perspective. I think you captured that blossoming intelligence and independence that is so universal at that age, very nicely done.

Dragon you wiley witch, don’t go killin’ off all the shapes! We may need them.
As to how he knew about the square, there’s been some talk at the Fantastic Kingdom Pub of late; you may want to lay low for a while.

midnightpoet

Solo, you certainly did not offend me. I make fun of my lisp all the time . And thanks very much for your kind words on my story, it's a tribute to my wonderfully smart and incredibly terrible 2-year-old.

matthew

Get back to your homework young lady!

Dragon

While I'm loathe to do 2 stories about witches in a row, this one was just clamouring to get out.

The Angry Witch and Why You Should Never Order a Familiar From E-Bay

There was a knock at the door.

“What?!”

“Delivery from ‘Belle’s books&candles, A sorcerer’s emporium.’ Will you accept?”

The witch flung the door open. “Of course I’ll accept, I been waiting on this new familiar for 6-8 weeks already.” She signed the form and he handed her a small cage.

“What in the name of Magical Circe is this?” She said disgustedly, holding the cage which contained a very depressed looking rat.

He checked his form.
“1 melancholy rat.”

“I ordered an angry goat,” she exploded at him, “What will my coven think if I show up with this. I’d rather have an evil dwarf!! I am an Angry Witch, everything I own is angry!!”

“What about that rug?” he asked.

“That rug has a profoundly angry floral pattern. I can’t show up at a triangle of Angry Witches with melancholy!”

“Don’t witches gather in circles?”

“Circles aren’t angry enough, and that’s none of your beeswax anyways!” Her face had gone an excellent shade of red and the delivery man was suddenly rather adverse to being in her sight.

Suddenly the rat spoke up, “I can do anger.” With that it flew from the cage and latched onto his nose.

“Alright,” said the witch, “You’ll do.”

Dragon

That one was 200 words exactly if you don't count the title or the word angry. I refuse to apologize for cheating as many others (including the one who instigated this challenge) are big fat cheaters too.

solosater

Dragon I Like your witchy tales! You should make them episodic.

I'm adding a post that is not from this word list; it is a poem I wrote for the drawing I submitted the latest mugdots challenge.

I haven't written a poem at least since the third grade so I feel I must share.


http://www.thinkdraw.com/picture.php?pictureId=38576


The Faerie Flies at Midnight
By solosater

The faerie was just learning to fly,
to spread her wings and soar through the sky.
But she was nervous about her form;
she’d been told t’was not the norm.
What was a faerie to do?

She made up her mind,
even if some weren’t kind
to do her very best
and worry not about the rest.
She would fly true!

So she practiced and practiced and as time passed
she found that in the races she was not always last
and as for her ascension height
it was getting to be just right
Still, she wanted more.

She decided to go out
when no one was about
and try out some brand new tricks
for the faerie land Olympics
She’d win, she swore!

So midnight it was;
the forest abuzz.
She flew to new heights
Oh, how she loved these nights,
the peace, the freedom.

At last came the games
in the stands the Gents and Dames
And with her new form
she took them by storm.
the best flier in Faerie Kingdom

anotherronism

And Dragon, in the outside lane, pulls head-tohead with soloslater.

Will Dragon's jibe in my general direction slant the outcome.

They race on at breakneck speed - head-to-head, nose-to-nose...

Who? Will? Prevail?