marius

Check this out. Made me laugh outload! (giggle and snort)

http://www.thinkdraw.com/picture.php?pictureId=74745

marius

Should give credit - that's by our own potatoesoftheworld!

Baldur

Time for Baldur to open his mailbag and see what arrived today.
Oh look a letter to our advice columnist!
Auntie B has been waiting almost silently in the wings for a year waiting for her first letter.
Finally her big chance....

Here you go Auntie B, um no.... this is the keyboard, it slides out in front. That's the telephone.

Baldur

Hello faithful listeners of Radio Baldur.
Here is my first letter:

Dear Auntie B,
My problem is my cousin. She is the most annoying person I've ever met.
She believes she knows everything when actually she's pretty wet behind the ears. She is forever telling me how to run my life when hers is very screwed up.
One of her most aggravating features is her split personality. Somehow an imaginary twin sister has popped up in her brain. There is no twin, though even I have to agree the twin is much better behaved, It is somewhat easier to deal with her when she is being the twin.
She will do anything to get attention! My email messages are 98% from here, she texts messages me constantly, even when we are in the same room.
Lately she has started speaking in bad pidgen english, which makes me want to vomit.
Since she won't leave me alone how do I deal with this?
HELP!

Baldur

Gentle listener,
TASER her
Auntie B

AuntieB

Oh Baldur this is much better, thank you for helping me open my own account.

AuntieB

I can add stuff here anytime now?

Baldur

yes, you can Auntie B

Dragon

Auntie B, what a lovely lush beard you have. I think I'm going to enjoy your advice column though I suspect the advice might frequently include a tazer.

I hope the snow isn't causing any trouble out there in Primrose, sounds like Baldur is enjoying it though. I had to laugh this morning when my fella said New England got 40 inches (or something like that) and I had to recount to him Baldurs tale a couple days ago of how the weatherman had forecast 3 or 4 inches of snow so of course it would either be warm and sunny or get 50-60 inches instead.

We have snow falling right now and they are big fluffy flakes, I suspect just the kind that would be perfect for making snow demons (whatever they may be) on the front lawn. Perhaps my co-workers and I will take a little break and whip some up in front of the clinic.

Oh, and a happy Winter Solstice to everyone. The best part of the shortest day of the year is that once it's over the days start getting longer.

sheftali52

lmao--Auntie B is a hoot!!! ;-)

Baldur

Auntie B is quite the treasure isn't she?

lilalee

My, what big eyes you have, Auntie B!!

AuntieB

Thank you everyone for the nice welcome.
Auntie B has actually been a big fan of ThinkDraw and especially Radio Baldur for ages and ages. As such I feel I have a good grasp of what this site is about.
A friend even told me that people can construct pieces of art and submit them for peer approval.
I do hope to find that area someday, in the meantime I will continue to chuckle over all these silly collages made of pig's ears, candy and flower petals.

Now back to my advice to HELP!.

Gentlest Listener,
Perhaps you require a bit more than Auntie B has already offered. So please allow me to elaborate.
This annoying cousin should not just be TASERed, but TASERed repeatedly until you see smoke coming out of her ears.
Since you are no doubt a minor, and may not have access to a TASER (remember to ask Santa for one this year before it's too late) here are a few other suggestions.
Delete all of her text messages and voice mail unread or unlistened to.
If possible change your number and account names.
Even in polite society it is sometimes necessary to completely ignore people, especially people who speak to you in pidgen English.
When she approaches you and says something moronic, look at her with a confused expression. Then find the nearest adult and tell them you suspect she has a concussion as she is appearing addled.
Go to the school nurse and voice your concerns as well.
Have your friends join in, after all it is for her own good.
If enough of you keep this up they will eventually have her commited someplace with nice people in lab coats will devote every waking hour to helping her.
That is all your Auntie B has to offer at the moment.
Do keep me posted on any new developments as I really do care.

Baldur

That was marvelous Auntie B, you are a fine addition to Radio Baldur.
Hopefully in the near future I can twist your arm into revealing your recipe for Matzoh Balls here for our audience.

Baldur grew up loving Auntie B's Chicken soup with Matzoh balls.
My mother would never cook anything of the sort but Auntie B always came through.
When I became a vegetarian she even reworked the recipe, just for me.
Now it's Vegetable Soup with Balls
I love Auntie B.

marius

Already loving Auntie B as I had one when a kid. Never did know her real name but everyone called her Auntie B! Think she was grandma's sister, but not sure.

She was the sweetest gal and always sent me a birthday card even though I only saw her about two times in life. I thought it very nice of her to send cards to someone she didn't know.

When we vacationed at Cape May and I was six, she bought me a two foot tall blow-up doll you could play with in the ocean. I named her Isabelle. LOVED Isabelle!

Auntie B could also bite into the ice cream on the cone. We had to lick because the cold hurt our teeth and Auntie B would laugh and say, "That's the great thing about false teeth - the cold doesn't bother them at all."

AuntieB

Not right now you handsome little devil (isn't my nephew just adorable?).
Auntie B is busy packing her bags and getting ready for my holiday trip to Branson, Mo.
I have tickets to see Frank Sinatra, Liberace and the Carpenters.
What a fun filled holiday weekend it will be for me!
The tickets were sold out but I got them through a scalper.
One does what one has to.

AuntieB

Why aren't you seet marius!
Oddly Auntie B also got a letter in her mailbag from matthew, who frequents this station.
He mentioned that an inflatable doll was also his favorite thing, though he name his 'Kanye'.

AuntieB

That was 'sweet' not 'seet' ,dear.
Also 'named', not 'name'.

Ta Ta, Auntie must be dashing off......

marius

Well, Auntie B, I can be sweet however now I'm worried. The other day I pushed something under a train, but since I wasn't looking I'm not sure what happened. Am thinking I have nothing to fear from the law though because what I thought I pushed now appears to be under the front wheel of a ... drat ... what are those things called? Big roller things.

My question is - I just forgot? Think it has something to do with a brain that cannot remember word for big roller thing and yesterday Robert laughed too much when I asked him to help me find my reading glasses and he found them ... sitting on my face, low on the nose. He says I'm officially an old person now. What can I do?

marius

Also, Auntie B, I've been wondering if Robin is working her new day-shift yet. Can't remember when that was supposed to start.