midnightpoet

Solo...maybe my ending wasn't clear...the women were hanging from the trees...she didn't make it to the carnival...

and Dragon, you're ending was not predictable...I definitely didn't see it coming, and laughed out loud when I got there.

Qsilv

midnightpoet - your meaning was horrifically clear... I'd been sooo hoping I'd read it wrong... ; D

Dragon - it was an option that flitted thru my mind, but when it happened, it was so adroitly worded that it got a smirky grin out of me too

solosater - I'd kind of wondered if those notes were going to be seen as funny, or too subtle, or just plain trivial...
now of course I find myself wondering where I could go for a while so you'd come *c*l*e*a*n* ...

;>

Dragon

midnight poet, I didn't get the end either but when I reread it I totally saw it. Such sad and ominous imagery in a wonderfully written work.

Qsilv, I really liked your letters. It was a whole new way to look at this challenge. I like the hesitant quality of not quite being able to figure out how to say what you want to say.

lynnspotter

Such entertaining stories!! Here's mine~more soapbox if you please!

No More Votes!

TD can be free of malevolence once again! No, not by forming alliances, or asking someone we consider to be 'nasty' to go away! It will eliminate suspicion and make everyone a fan! Integrity will return to TD. The happy, carnival like atmosphere will be back! Everyone will have to walk the straight and narrow boulevard! Won't matter if you are three sheets to the wind! I'm selfish! I want it ALL! The sweet AND the salty! The only thing I don't want is the MEAN! I don't want anyone to hurt anyone! It is not necessary!
I want Ron 100 AND matthew! I want all the KM's and KS's and KZ's! I want Baldur, solosater, Qsilv, Login, Dragon, lilalee, LadyO, five, DM, yahoo craftycarol, jmdx, orriginal, mostblessedone, autumn, billbob, shepcity, froufroufox, mekeys, jshundo, gwinnyb, pollyester, candr, mugdots, cutegrl, Ernie Raych, faithfool, 1020, nancylee, Luna, katpedro, polenta, kyung, MissDagny, Robin, Soda, jimsgal, marg, brandon, Arw, and zeksam. I want all the family members and friends! The oldies and newbies! I would love to have Grahame, puzzler, likemee, plasmabob, Tim42, hdwildmustang, Raina, qwer, nigel, scrivener, strawdoll, saragrant, and lizmeister BACK! SO, let's try it! NO MORE VOTING!!!! FAITH, PEACE, LOVE, JOY, HARMONY!

(Disclaimer: I did not leave anyone out of my list on purpose! I ran out of # of words! This does not count in the word count!)

midnightpoet

Qsilv, I loved your letters. the hesitation was tangible, and the concept was very clever!

Sorry to all about the end of the story. Happy endings are typically not my style...

Dragon

Here's one with a not so happy ending for you, 200 words not including title.

A Change of Perspective

Flying. I remember flying, that sweet alliance of body and sky. And falling. That too, my wings crumpling like a broken fan, the taste of blood salty in my mouth. Am I dead? That would explain the nasty deadening of my senses. But the integrity of my mind is still intact. Go back to flying. Yes, soaring across the secret boulevard of the heavens. Nothing but the stars around me, except... a haze? Yes, a haze of malevolence in my path. Suspicion comes too late, the mages must have banded together to bring so powerful a creature down. No cheap carnival magic here but pure sorcery of the highest degree. And I’m falling, a horrible sensation. Stop there, no need to remember that. But what have they done to me. If only I could open my eyes. If only my senses weren’t so terribly dulled. It must be magic, for no drug can touch me, but I can no longer feel magic. I try to grip my talons on whatever I can but I feel only coarse sheets beneath my hands. HANDS?! I must wake up! What have they done. Human, they’ve made me human! Aaah, death would be better!

anotherronism

I'm stoll on page two but five and qsilv - especially qsilv (no slight five) that was just oh what? Too danged clever.

It never ceases to maaze me how much I can be surprised in this topic.

I am NOT patting myself on the back here - I'm just glad this topic is here.

In some ways to me, right now, it's better than TD itself.

anotherronism

I cannot seem to post any longer.

anotherronism

This forum topic will NOT let me paste my story in.

Something has changed. And recently.

I can paste it into any other thread - just not this one.

Hmm...

anotherronism

Runnin on Empty by Ron

Ahhh Roger delta-three-niner. Ahh. Go ahead and fan that sector. I’ve got a suspicion here, ahh, about the, err, integrity of the intelligence.

We’ve picked up some, ahh, malevolence in the local chatter. There appears to be a native alliance forming. You are go, repeat “Go” for clearing that boulevard.

“Ah. Roger that HQ.”, “I am ‘go’, repeat ‘GO’ on this street-sweep?”

“Get some delta-three-niner. Get some”.

The sheets of rain fell. They were beautiful

The local carnival-goers never saw it coming.

“We’ve got you on HUD delta-three. Salty man. Salty! Get some more!”

Delta-three-niner here HQ. I think there were some kids back there.

“Ahh. Delta-three-niner… That’s a probable. Repeat ‘probable’”.

HQ. What are we doing out here.

“Get some delta-three-niner. Get some. Then get some more!”

HQ. Are you asking me to sweep it again?

“Err. We’re watching back here delta-three. Err… That is affirmative. Get some delta-three. Get some more.”

The ugly plane banked hard and reversed its heading.

“Err… Delta-three-niner. You’ve got ‘em in yer sites. They’re right there. Fire! Fire! Fire! Get some. Yeah!”

HQ. WTF?

“Err. Delta-three-niner. That’s a no-squalk. Engage. Engage!”

The plane flew near the carnival.

Err… HQ. I’m empty. I’m empty.

matthew

Ron... That was... ... ... moving... and a scarey thought...

matthew

Dragon, I am a fantasy fan & you sucked me right in... I can see that as an opening of a great saga... I want to read on...

matthew

Poet... You made me see the coming death

Qsilv... Who has lost touch with reality

Dragon... I am with poet... didn't see that comong

matthew

-o +i

solosater

midnight poet, NO!

You were not unclear I just read it wrong; there goes the relief.

Oh my God! That is Evil!!! Wow, you’ve got a very fascinating outlook. I think it makes way more sense your way and is certainly a more potent, and gut wrenching tale.

Did she make these other women hate her somehow, did she say or do something to cause this or was it just malice in the hearts of these two women who she felt she could trust?

Happy endings are great in escapism; you write fantasy/sci-fi/gamer stories like they would be in the real world, very grounded in reality. Nothing wrong with that; please don’t change.

Wow, I’ve really got to reread that a couple of times!


Qsilv, that’s the other reaction I get a lot. The funny thing is I don’t do maintenance even at home but you give me a refrigerator or pantry that needs a good purging and I will purge, clean, and organize the whole of it, I take apart ceiling fans and clean all the little parts that you can never get the dust out of, and soap scum is eliminated, gone like it was never there!

Now I’m on to the newer postings.

five

"Casualties of War"

Her husband extended a nasty kindness to her when they met: he smiled broadly, fooled her with white teeth and bright eyes. She had thought they were forming an alliance. Now, the malevolence stung her.

Her husband didn’t miss his son the way she did. It wasn’t supposed to be forever.

He let the kid go without telling her until he was gone. He was all for honesty, unless the stakes were life or death; apparently, integrity never won battles that mattered.

He had not always been such a fan of war. He liked his boulevards straight, with well-tended houses, white fences, and laughing boys and girls. They met that in front of one of those houses, on a bright summer day, with blue skies and no clouds.

Suspicion has a way when rumors start as whispers. They started locking the doors. She did loads of laundry, and while the dryer still worked, they folded the hot clean clothes and sheets and talked about last summer’s carnival and salty taffy that cost one ticket -- one dollar. Forget laundry; to win a fight, he knew a man had to ball up the dirty sheets and throw them in a corner.

anotherronism

Not enough words but...

NeHi by Ron

Three little boys walk into a bar.

The first asks the bartender for a vodka-tonic.

The bartender asks him for his ID.

“I am not a fan of government regulation.” says the boy.

The second kid asks for a scotch, neat.

The bartender asks him for his ID.

“Hmm…” says the boy, “I’ve a suspicion you are an ageist.”

“What’s that?’ asks the bartender.

“A belligerent malevolence towards young people.” says the boy.

The third boy asks for a grape NeHi.

The bartender asks him for his ID.

“Look dude. I’m already three sheets to the wind. I’ve been walking that damned boulevard for hours. We did the freak-show at the carnival already. I was accosted by a salty old man. He said he was in love with me but I questioned his integrity. I don’t even know these two kids but we formed our little alliance. I can see you’re not giving them any alcohol but could I have my danged grape NeHi already?”

five

shoot ... typo ... the "that" after "met" should be deleted.

QSilv, love the letters approach.

solosater

lynnspotter, you made me laugh, it is almost as if this word list was made from your post not the other way ‘round.

I totally agree!


Poor Dragon, to wake up human, to be stuck without your powers and earthbound too, what evil is this? Perhaps you will find a “cure” for your humanity in another installment and soar again.


Ron, this goes along with the, “I was just following orders” and “communications breakdown” that make so much of the world we live in so unfair.

I think about countries were the troops are boys who have no choice but to fight and even here in America we’ve had the draft in place at times. My uncle never got over his time in Vietnam as so many of those who “served” never do; it’s a sad thing to think about so-called “intelligence” being so wrong.

I know its a little taboo but there are a couple of scriptures that really make this point clear:
Jeremiah 10;23 states, “I well know… that to earthling man his way does not belong. It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step.”
Ecclesiastes 8:6,9 says, “for there exists a time and a judgment even for every affair, because the calamity of mankind is abundant upon them….All this I have seen…every work that has been done under the sun during the time that man has dominated man to his injury.”

Human beings are imperfect and so our every effort to rule ourselves will too be imperfect, only our creator know the way we should go.

How sad that some have to live every day knowing that on wrong information they have executed orders to kill men, women, and children who certainly were not a threat to anyone.

I was ready to post when I realized there was more but I think this kinda’ cover’s five’s as well.

Very nicely done poignant story of a mother and wife who wishes she could see her son and perhaps never will again and wishes too that her husband could comfort her, and quit being such a man.

matthew, I’ve no clue; Ron, NeHi made me laugh!

To all, sorry if I sound preachy, it isn’t my intent; it’s just that when I see the thing going on in the world these are the things that come to my mind.

solosater

Going back to read midnight's story again.