Baldur

Yes, marius Baldur did indeed say that to Chickie, but we were never pleasant to each other. I do think on some level she liked me, certainly I was entertaining.
She was a very loud opinionated and argumentative person, most wouldn't rise to her challenge. Instead they would cower. Since I thought her boorish (+2 points), often unnecessarily rude. and always incorrect, Baldur had to put his 2 cents in whenever he could. It was often a 'battle royale'.

Several months back during our potato salad storyline I mentioned her fleetingly. It was indeed her recipe that contained nothing but chunks of
boiled potatoes and mayonnaise (BLECCCCH!).
Chickie's Irish soda bread was not only tasteless but it was also rather dry.
She did add raisins but it almost seemed like she dried them in a oven overnight before using them. Even they were devoid of moisture.

marius

Baldur, don't you wonder what happens to people to make them turn out that way? I always wonder.

And, is this woman part of the grand parent set who has not acknowledged your children? Sounds like she is. And does she do things like this - you say, "The sky is a particularly pretty blue today," to which she replies in her best condescending voice, "I think you mean it's AZURE!" Harrumph! : )

Baldur

She did harrumph frequently, how could you have possibly known that?
And indeed she would disagree just to be disagreeable.
She was from the other set of grandparents, and is long since deceased. My daughter adored her, though I never quite understood why.
Maybe she really needed grandmotherly love and since my mother acted so distant she needed a double dose from Chickie.
Incidentally Chickie's husband was named Richard but everyone was encouraged to call him 'Dickie'. Hence: 'Chickie & Dickie'
(excuse me, that was my gag reflex asserting itself in the background).
I never once called him that. Whenever possible I used: Mr. 'Surname', but when he protested it was too formal I demured and called him Richard.

maddyjean08

What about "Rich"? That's not too formal or wierd, but completely casual and cool. WARNING: DO NOT HESITATE TO SAY!

marius

Baldur, you told me Chickie harrumphed! True, you didn't use that particular word but what you wrote describes harrumphers "...very loud, opinionated and argumentative."

And when I read this, it cinched the person of Chickie for me, "She did add raisins but it almost seemed like she dried them in a oven overnight before using them. Even they were devoid of moisture."

Must say, I'm particularly taken by that description. When I read it, I thought, "All these years I've tried to describe my mother and Baldur just did it in TWO sentences!!!" Thanks, Baldur!

Truly, it is not wonderful to have a person like that in ones life, much less a mother, but it's wonderful after all the therapy and on and on ... to finally have the words that say it all ... in just two sentences! Wow! Thanks, again. Truly. Really. Thanks. : )

marius

And now, time for a brief Missouri Moment ...

Lover's Lane, St. Jo
by Eugene Field (1850-1895)

Saint Jo, Buchanan County,
Is leagues and leagues away;
And I sit in the gloom of this rented room,
And pine to be there to-day.
Yes, with London fog around me
And the bustling to and fro,
I am fretting to be across the sea
In Lover's Lane, Saint Jo.

I would have a brown-eyed maiden
Go driving once again;
And I 'd sing the song, as we snailed along,
That I sung to that maiden then:
I purposely say, "as we snailed along,"
For a proper horse goes slow
In those leafy aisles, where Cupid smiles,
In Lover's Lane, Saint Jo.

From her boudoir in the alders
Would peep a lynx-eyed thrush,
And we 'd hear her say, in a furtive way,
To the noisy cricket, "Hush!"
To think that the curious creature
Should crane her neck to know
The various things one says and sings
In Lover's Lane, Saint Jo.

But the maples they should shield us
From the gossips of the place;
Nor should the sun, except by pun,
Profane the maiden's face;
And the girl should do the driving,
For a fellow can't, you know,
Unless he 's neglectful of what 's quite respectful
In Lover's Lane, Saint Jo.

Ah! sweet the hours of springtime,
When the heart inclines to woo,
And it 's deemed all right for the callow wight
To do what he wants to do;
But cruel the age of winter,
When the way of the world says no
To the hoary men who would woo again
In Lover's Lane, Saint Jo!

In the Union Bank of London
Are forty pounds or more,
Which I 'm like to spend, ere the month shall end,
In an antiquarian store;
But I 'd give it all, and gladly,
If for an hour or so
I could feel the grace of a distant place,---
Of Lover's Lane, Saint Jo.

Let us sit awhile, beloved,
And dream of the good old days,---
Of the kindly shade which the maples made
Round the stanch but squeaky chaise;
With your head upon my shoulder,
And my arm about you so,
Though exiles, we shall seem to be
In Lover's Lane, Saint Jo.

PS Yes, there is a Lover's Lane in my hometown and yes, it is the one where Mr. Field went courting. : )

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That's beautiful, marius. Thank you for sharing it with us.

maddyjean08

That is the most beautiful poem I've ever heard. And I love poetry so I've read a lot. You didn't write that, did you?

Baldur

As I said earlier, they actually asked me to be one of the pallbearers at her funeral. This came as a surprise as there was no lack of other choices, there were all sorts of young men at least nominally related to her. Our emnity was no secret.
Baldur did linger at her graveside after most of the mourners had drifted away. Some may have mistakenly thought it a tender moment of regret over our dreadful relationship. Instead I was hoping to see them shovel the earth over her, Damn those cemetary workers.
They must have a policy in place that makes them wait until everyone has left.
The grave had been dug but the coffin was left to the side, with flowers heaped on top. Perhaps there is some thought that watching the soil being shoveled back into the pit is too macabre. Normally Baldur wouldn't have cared but in this instance wanted the visual closure.
Baldur did what he had to and picked up a clod of dirt and tossed it on top of the casket. She was at least ceremonially buried in my presence.

Baldur

Also I should mention that my pallbearingness happened well after I had divorced Chickie's daughter.

maddyjean, I could not call him Rich, nor Rick or any other shortened form, he looked like a 'Richard'.

Baldur

My exwife had been the eldest daughter.
The second oldest was also married to a man that Chickie did not like. He was fun to be around mainly because Chickie referred to him as biker trash.
Whenever we were forced to be all in one place at least BT was an ally.
We could commiserate.
The youngest daughter was in Baldur's opinion the sanest. Odd how things turn out.
'Regina' serving a life term now in the state penitentiary. She made national headlines a few years back by killing her husband by shooting him in the face whilst he was in bed.
There were allegations of him filming private acts with her and posting them on the internet and the story became very sensational.
The jury however convicted her unanimously and rather quickly too.
This happened in the same legal jurisdiction that Lizzie Borden did her thing in all those years ago. There must be something in the water.
I liked her husband in theory though we'd never met. He worked in the cranberry industry and through my daughter sent me crates of dried cranberries occasionally.
In the days immediately following the murder my ex needed to spend time with her sister and had me watch our children
I remember sitting at the kitchen table with my daughter, Miss Noel composing a Lizzie-Bordenish rhyme based on her soon to be incarcerated aunt. There's definitely something not right about that but Baldur just can't but his finger on it.

Baldur

but -b +p =put

Baldur

An interesting aside was my mother being horrified each time my exwife appeared on the news. Portia had kept my surname after the divorce so there would be her name: 'PORTIA BALDUR, sister of the accused' printed across the bottom of the television screen as she was being interviewed (and they interviewed her often those first weeks).
My mother wanted me to put a stop to her using our name.
As far as Baldur could tell she was legally entitled to use her name on camera.
It was a strange time.

Qsilv

mmm wow, Marius - double thanks for posting that poem. It's actually one I wasn't familiar with, and I admit to being a sucker for Eugene Field's poems.

His work was sooo sweet that it's fashionable now to call him maudlin, but I think he really was drawing from a sensitivity inside himself that guys (um, and women too) generally just quash.

(smiles) ...of course if they'd quash their snarkiness as thoroughly, we'd at least have balance, hm?

http://www.thinkdraw.com/forumPosts.php?topicId=352&s=20 for another Field poem.

Qsilv

Baldur, I'm enchanted by your ability to paint pictures with your words. ; >

Baldur

Baldur's life is indeed rather colorful.
Thank you Qsilv.

marius

Glad you all enjoyed the poem. Qsilv, checked your link & thanks! Since Field hailed from St. Joe, his poems were standard curriculum. Had forgotten he penned childhood favorites: Wyken, Blynken and Nod, and the calico cat. Had to memorize Little Boy Blue, recite it. As a child, the idea that toys might love you was most appealing.

Baldur, I'd wondered about Chickie's children. Sad about Regina. Can see you standing at the grave, wanting to see the dirt covering of casket. And are there any of Chickie's children who are able to tell, or at least allow themselves to know, the truth about their mother? For some peculiar reason I've known quite a few "Chickies" and, boorish as they may be, their power to wreak havoc is astonishing.

Dragon, snow already! And what are winter tires? We have all-weather tires. Do these not work in Canada? Also, you already had Thanksgiving? I do not know a thing about Canadian holidays. Please do tell. Good to know if walking in Alberta that folks will be friendly like in Missouri. Btw, is Alberta prairie, mountainous or what?

marius

Robin, my spouse's mom is 91, lives in St. Louis. One of her favorite sayings is, "Hot-sie, tootsie!" This is said to express pleasure at anything.

Baldur

Baldur can only guess what Portia, Ronette & Regina actually thought about Chickie. Though I was nominally friendly to all 3 sisters, I've had no contact with the other 2 in years.
Baldur had expected Ronette and at least a couple of her children to fly out to Los Angeles for my son's wedding but alas they did not.
My son however was realistic in not expecting them.

Baldur

I do believe they found her frustrating, though the bond between mother and child makes us all take more grief than we would permit from non-family.