sheftali52

Hey Tater...

potatoesoftheworld

hi!

sheftali52

Hi Tater. Thinking of you....

Baldur

Everyone, please say a prayer for Chloraphylla when you get a chance.
She broke both a wrist and an ankle and is unable to do many things for a while

potatoesoftheworld

:O HOW??? That's terrible!

sheftali52

She slipped on wet pavement, Tater--she posted that in "injured" in the Community forum. Terrible, isn't it?

marius

Glad to hear about your Dad, pollyesther. By the way, I knew a three year old once who saw the word "pollyesther" and when someone told her the word, she declared it her new name. Everyone had to call her that for the next year.

Thanks for news about Chlorapylla, Baldur. Said prayers.

Hazer

It's been a while since I've had time to read through all the comments on this thread and so much has happened.
Tater I'm so sorry to read of your friends passing on Christmas Day. I feel your pain and pray that God will comfort you as only He can.
You have lost two close friends in such a short time. That is a huge life experience for anyone to go through.
I was so touched by those ladies who stayed by their computers to offer what comfort they could, while others of us were either away or busy with family and Christmas. Bless their hearts!
Then polly and matthew came on to share their wisdom and experiences.
I can only say, Tater, as one who has lost loved ones and also experienced being on the brink of death myself, is that even though I loved the people who died dearly, I would not have wanted them to live so that I wouldn't have to experience the pain of separation. For my loved ones to have lived would have meant more pain and suffering than they could bear. I think it was that way for your friend also. When they are suffering the greatest gift we can give them is to release them and give them our permission to leave us. Let her spirit freely go to where there is no more pain.
There is so much more a person could say, Tater, but for now,sweetie, know that for your friends Mom and family, you are very special because you were such a good and caring friend to their loved one. Give them lots of hugs and tell them how much you loved her. It will mean the world to them and will help to heal your broken heart.

potatoesoftheworld

I know she was suffering, and to want her back would be selfish and bring her back to pain. But, i just want her back, before she got cancer, when everything was normal...

Hazer

I know Tater, I understand. Have they held her funeral yet?

potatoesoftheworld

It's today.

potatoesoftheworld

All my friends are going too- they were also Allies friends... and Kayla's. I think that only they know EXACTLY what i am missing.

I don't mean to offend any of you, but you don't EXACTLY understand. You've lost parents and friends, but you might not of had that same connection with them, or something like that.

Sort of like how I can't imagine what it would be like to lose one of my parents, even though i have experienced the death of friends. It's kind of like two different things.

Does that make any sense?

potatoesoftheworld

Like it would be two VERY different experiences...

Hazer

My husband and I will be leaving tomorrow to spend time with his parents. His father is still very ill and we expect that this will be our last visit with him if indeed we make it there in time.
He insists that he wants to die at home which has placed a tremendous burden on Mom. My husband has seven siblings, all who have been doing their best to help. We live the farthest away and are anxious to do our part to help him end well, as well as comfort and support the rest of the family.

Please pray for safety on the roads as it's a 6 hour drive and we've been having a lot of fog lately. Our daughters and their families are also traveling back from seeing him this week end.

Blessings to all of you and prayers for a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year !

matthew

Every experience of this sort is unique in and of itself Tater... Very keen of you to recognize this fact...

You are quite right... That is why nobody can find the right words to console another durring grieving... because each and every grieving is its own unique loss...

I have loss both of my parents... My dad died suddenly and unexpectantly in his sleep when an unknown brain aneurysm burst back in 1994 (on his 51st birthday)... My mom more recently from her prolonged and painful bout with cancer... I loved them both dearly, but grieved very differently from each loss...

All who have shared with you have had our own losses and well we know that we can never know just what you are dealing with...

...I hope knowing that we care for you helps in some small way...

...May the coming year bring us all happier times... 2009 was rough on many... ♥♥♥

matthew

Thanks Hazer for sharing... God bless you and keep you on this difficult journey... both in travel and in grief...

Nylecoj

May God give peace to those who need it now.

potatoesoftheworld

Exactly Matthew, glad that my theory is complete craziness. I believe that each time we experience death, it is a different experience. You all share your stories of experiences, and you do really understand, just not to the full extent.

If someone lost a parent, it's different than losing, well a pet for example. You grieve both but feel a bit different.

Maybe someone who had abusive parents that died could not say they know how they feel for someone who had the kindest most loving parents on earth. It's all different.

I also believe that those of us who have experienced the death of others understand how it is, to know that they are gone. We all feel that.

But someone who may barely miss someone could not compare to someone that will take 60 years to recover.

I think that now that i have experienced the death of others, i know it is real. I say that we really start to live life, is when we have experienced the threat of death.

Anyways, back on that other topic.
I feel for all of you, but i admit, i do not know how you feel. You have expressed to me enough to get the general idea. It's kind of interesting isn't it? How one loss is not the same as another?
I don't mean to say that you guys have no idea what your talking about, actually the complete opposite.What i mean to say is, one death is different from another. Like i have no way of comparing the death of Kayla, to the death of Allie...
Does that make sense at all???

potatoesoftheworld

(correction to my last post- i meant to say "Glad my theory is NOT complete craziness..." woops...)

Dragon

You're right taters, everyone grieves in their own way and their grief is a very personal thing and different with each loss we suffer too. Every person is so different and unique from one another that of course we will face their loss differently from each other.
It's a terrible thing that you've had to experience that at all in your young life let alone twice. Please know that we are all here for you, and if you need someone in the real world I hope you have lots of support from your family and friends.