marius

Thanks for another great story, Baldur ... thus proving once again the dangers of eating at other people's homes!!! One might think restaurants would provide "the worst ever meal stories" but, methinks (25 points for using word Baldur likes) the "worst ever" meals happen in homes.

marius

Will look forward to spaghetti story #2. Alas and anon ... time for dreamland. Going to read a bit first though - to get spaghetti out of my head, and out of dreams. : )

Sweet sleep to all!

Dragon

My mother was not a bad cook but I was a very picky child. I didn't like many kinds of meat (I am a total carnivore now) and was very picky about my veggies. I hated onions (my favorite veg by far now), mushrooms (still can't stand them) and a number of other things. I recall one of the staples of our diet was a concoction my mom made of macaroni, canned tomatoes and ground beef. She says we rarely had it, I say it was nearly a once a week occurance. I absolutly hated it and would push it around on my plate until everyone else was done. The rule in the house was you sat there at the table until you finished your meal even if it took all night. So the rest of the family would go off into the living room to watch MacGyver or whatever cheesy 80's show was on and leave me to finish by myself. I would promptly let the dog eat my entire meal, stow the dished in the dishwasher and be watching tv 5 minutes after everyone else. I asked my mom later if she didn't realize what I was doing as I thought it must be obvious to them, she said she just thought I was so desperate not to be left behind that I quickly ate it all so I wouldn't miss the show. So the dog always sat by my chair at dinner and I was a skinny child.

marius

Dragon, what a charming and funny story! We also had weekly "torture food." Ours was hamburger soup. Mom cooked a few things well, but her soups were disasters and the hamburger soup was worse than disaster. Even the dog didn't like it and that dog ate everything, even peas! Our problem was that there were eight of us kids and man's best friend couldn't keep up with our offerings, so Mom found out what we were doing. That taught us to be sly and tricky. Since you were also concerned about your dog's well-being, and generous with your offerings, did your dog gain weight like ours?

Dragon

Our dog was a pretty healthy weight, but there were only 3 of us and I was the only one who gave her dinner (as far as I know, I was always the last one at the table, so the others didn't have a chance)

Robindcr8l

And for the musical portion of tonight's show, here is a rendiditon of "If My Nose Was Running Money" by Aaron Wilburn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egCeIwjIuZM

'All Robin, some of the time'

marius

That was hilarious, says marius!!!!!! Thanks, Robin!

Dragon

ROFLMAO!!! Robin, me and my honey both got a real kick out of that.

marius

What does ROFLMAO mean? Seriously.
Figure LMAO could mean "laughing my ass off."
but ... ROF .... ???
Reading Ogden's Fun? Na - ohhh.
Resting on Floor? Not likely.

marius

And for some reason this made me think of life's embarassing moments. Here's one. Thought I'd NEVER get over it.

When I was in third grade at the Catholic school, we'd go to hour mass 3 times a week and then on Friday, after mass we attended confession. The nuns were very strict (they should have been - there were 52 kids in my 5th grade class, not sure how many in 3rd grade!) ... so you just laid low and never attracted attention to yourself. One particular thing was never allowed! You did not EVER ask to go to the bathroom. You just didn't. You went when everyone else went and that was it.

So there's this little eight year old kid standing in line waiting to confess her sins and she is wiggling. She is thinking, "There are only three more people in front of me. I can make it. I can."

Once finished with confession, the routine was to go to a pew, say your pennace and then take your bathroom break downstairs.

Finally its' the girl's turn. She pulls back the curtain and goes inside. Just as the priest pulls back that plastic window thing and says his stuff in latin the girl can see it flowing out from under the curtain, no doubt for ALL the world to see. She can't believe it happened. It was only a few more minutes. Oh, dear God. Then she hears the priest asking again for her to confess her sins. She bursts into tears and says, "Father, I wet my pants."

The priest begins to tell her it's not the end of the world and the girl says, "No father, I wet them just now. It's rolling out beyond the curtain."

[I should stop here becasue I'm laughing with tears and can't see what I'm typing.]

The priest was NOT happy. To this day I don't remember much after that moment in time ... except wouldn't you know, Mom shows up at the nurses office with my RED cotton underpants and EVERYONE there had to talk about them. More humiliation! (In those days, most kids only wore white undies.)

And to make things worse, for some resaon the nun and my mother were mad at ME! Hey, they told us you go to the bathroom when it's time. I had followed the rules as best I could and I still got in trouble!

polenta

How terribly strict marius! We were 25 or 30 in class in Primary School and we could ask to go to the bathroom. It was in the teacher's good judgement to let you go. Of course, we knew that if you asked her every day and at every minute, she would realize you were kind of pulling her leg. It worked quite well and pupils only asked if they really had to.

polenta

When my son was about 4 I took him to the club for his swimming class. He met a boy who both my son and I knew from his kindergarten, I even knew his mother who was like 15 years olden than I was.
We saw the little boy with a man this time. We began talking and I said or asked something to the man saying something like :
Why isn't your daughter here today,?- meaning the boy's mother.
The man answered:
She's my wife, not my daughter. I had confused the man with the boy's grandfather .... and he was the grandfather. He was the boy's mother's senior for 20 years and looked like a grandfather.
I WANTED THE EARTH TO SWALLOW MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

marius

Polenta, glad you didn't get your wish - for the earth to swallow you. We'd have missed the joy knowing you if that had happened! : )
But, that is an awful feeling for sure, wanting the earth to swallow you.

Robindcr8l

Clearly I was tired when I typed the word rendition last night. And this is proof that I know how it is REALLY spelled!

ROFLMAO = rolling on the floor laughing my a$$ off.

Robin spent much of yesterday making a cake for the bachelorette party she is attending tomorrow. Now, the prospective bride is no prude, but also not the type for a body-parts themed party. However, the hostess of the party is the body-parts type, and although has agreed to tone down the theme to some extent, still insisted on a body-parts themed cake. So I did the baking yesterday, then some sculpting out of rice krispie treats, and covered them in pink molding chocolate. I'll just say the sculpted part was very large and very male and quite artistic if I do say so myself. (I am probably the most "crafty" of my friends, plus the only one who doesn't work during the week, so got nominated for this task!) Anyway, on Friday, just before the party, we will place the sculpture on top of the delicious chocolate cake with chocolate ganache that I baked. I had no idea when I undertook the endeavor, that it would take architectural skills, too. The cake is light and fluffy, and the sculpture not so much. We put a metal skewer through the sculpture lengthwise for support. The skewer has a ring at the end for easy grip. This created an unexpected jewelry effect on the end of the "part". A bonus! Well, it still didn't hold. The "part" would start to tilt, and the skewer would just pull up through the fluffy cake. So now we added 3 wooden skewers, and had to cut out a paper plate for support under the part, then use the other 2 parts for balance. It's still precarious, but I'm hoping it will hold up just long enough for the guests to see the effect we were going for.

Who knew I'd still be participating in this juvenile crap at the age of 44?? Hmmm, hopefully the bride will appreciate the time and creative thought that went into it, and forgive the ridiculousness (25 points at least) of it all.

And Marius, great story! Nowadays they have large-size pull-ups for just such an emergency! LOL but not ROF. hehehe

Dragon

marius, I remember being in grade 2 and being so afraid of asking to go to the bathroom that I peed my pants and sat in it all day long. If I remember right the teacher had yelled at someone earlier that morning for asking for a washroom break when they really didn't need one and that reaction made me so nervous I just couldn't do it.

Robin, you should watch Cake Boss on TLC. They make the most amazing cakes you've ever seen! The show is kind of like if the Sopranos ran a cake shop instead of being in the mob.

Robindcr8l

Dragon, I have seen that show on occasion, although, I'm pretty sure it's on Monday nights which is when I work, so rarely get to watch it. The one I did see, though, Buddy made a huge roulette table cake for this group of mafia-type bosses who apparently like to gamble (go figure). At the end of the show, Buddy, in his Brooklyn-Italian accent, says, "This was a good week! I made a beautiful cake, and I didn't get whacked!" ROFLMAO (as you would say, Dragon!)

I am placing the link here for my inspiration for the cake I made yesterday. Beware, it is NOT appropriate for kids, and probably not for many adults either, but it IS kind of funny! I just wish they had given more instruction as to how to execute it. Also, they used fondant, but I quickly realized that was going to be ridiculously complicated, and not worth the end result. I used artistic license to make it my own creation in the end.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3361/3314461642_a3bf6f62 09.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.flickr.com/photos/enchantedcakes/3314461642/&usg=__NmO7IAUq N8y-Oio86qkRTgfWVTU=&h=500&w=375&sz=161&hl=en&start=16&tbnid=wx_UPWrymu DmMM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=98&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpenis%2Bcake%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG

Dragon

OMG, I don't even know what to say about that. That cake is both impressive and and kind of disturbing at the same time. Really funny though, especially the big hairy... well you know.

Robindcr8l

I know what you mean, Dragon. I might have crossed a line by even putting the link on here. If someone objects, I won't be offended if they ask Rachel to remove it. Actually, mine looks better than that one, anyway! LOL

marius

Dragon - sorry you had to sit in that all day long ... and adults don't think children have serious problems to deal with in their tiny lives! WRONG!!!

Robin ... ditto what Dragon wrote about the cake. ; ) There used to be an area bakery that made "erotica" sweets. So one day my severely prudish mother bought one of said cakes, not too different from the pic you shared! She was more funny than the cake because she was so proud of herself to "step outside the norm" but she couldn't get over her embarrassment!

polenta

SORRY SHOULD'VE SAID TO SWALLOW ME.