potatoesoftheworld

Someone told me that we must now celebrate the life she had. I grieve for the life that would of continued.

Qsilv

absolutely... both, Tater... try to do both, 'k?

That's a point of honor, you know... but it's also part of the gift you spread to other people around you.

potatoesoftheworld

I have to go. Goodnight.

What a wonderful Christmas *sniff sniff*

Qsilv

'Fraid I have to grab a few hours sleep now too; I'm responsible for some things requiring a clear mind in the morning.

Thanks for the insights, folks... you've all given me something to think about and I do appreciate it.

Tater, I don't suppose you drink hot tea, but as old fashioned remedies go, our grandmothers had a remarkably sensitive and sensible approach in always offering a hot drink and a carbohydrate -- tea and toast -- to people in need of soothing.

pollyesther

Potatoes...I'm so sorry for your loss...
Your frienship and love towards her will not go unrewarded. You are an amazing person.

You're absolutely right about it being totally unfair to lose a treasured friend.

I don't know if answering the "why" will help, but here goes...
Since you are Christian, i feel free to use a biblical world view.


I will have to begin with the fall of mankind, or original sin. I'm sure you remember the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible. God gave them dominion over every living thing...
Genisis !:
26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all[b] the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

2:16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

Why would God give Adam and Eve the option to sin??

I believe He gave them free will because He wanted communion, love and obedience from us...those are things that would not be possible without free will.

As a result of Sin, mankind has been cursed (Genisis 3:14-19)with the "disease" of death. everybody has it, and everyone knows that it is not right when they experience the death of a loved one.

This was not God cursing us... But when they were decieved by the serpent and did as the serpent said, they handed over the power that was given to them by God himself. This is the motive of the serpent.

So now the serpent is known as the "prince of the air" because he tricked them in this way and took the gift that God had given them (dominion over every living thing)

But what the serpent didn't grasp is that the LORD God, had a master plan, a plan to redeem and restore Mankind to what we were in the garden and much more.

Because nobody can escape this "disease", God himself became a man. He lived a sinless life and died in our place once for all and cureing those who are willing to take the cure. this is what it means to be a Christian.

We who take this cure will still die phisically because we still live in a fallen world, but we are given eternal life from the Tree Of Life. We are given communion with God; we have access to His throne through prayer and He works through us to help other people, just as He worked through you to be there for your friend. Just as you are grieved, so also God is grieved for your friend and for the world. Those who cry out to Him will be comforted...from my personal experience ...i have been greatly comforted when i have cast my cares upon Him.
This is a lot to process, i know...and im not sure if i answered clearly enough, but i hope that you will read the Bible for yourself and find the answers...
Don't be afraid to ask tough questions.
24 “The LORD bless you and keep you;

25 The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;

26 The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’

pollyesther

oops, that last scripture was Numbers 6-24-26

matthew

4 1/2 months ago, I lost my mother to a painful battle with cancer... You know this already...

Loss & grief is a part of life... We all partake in the inevitable (death) during our life... The longer we live, the more likely that it will visit those we know and love... and one day... it will be us that must pass on leaving our loved ones to grieve for us...

Tater, There is no wrong way to grieve... What you are feeling is real... There will be that empty "what to do" feeling that will visit you often at first and a little less as time passes on... 50 years from now something may cause you to think about your friend and smile fondly of the good memories... but you will still remember the loss and that is ok... We all do the same...

I lost my dad in 1994 and I still miss him dearly when I think about him... Reading the last few pages renewed my grief for my mother... This is all natural...

I wish any of us could fix it for you, but know that what you are feeling is not only okay, but perfectly normal...

Our hearts and prayers are with you (matthew, jmdx3mom & joy2004)... May you find comfort in God, family & friends...

sheftali52

Very thoughtful offerings, pollyesther and matthew. Tater, many of us feel for you now, and hope our care and concern help even a little bit.

marius

Thanks for your thoughts pollyesther and matthew. You both touched me with your words and wisdom. And, thanks again to tater, sheftalli and Qsilv for last night's "sitting." Think this talk is soothing something in me about things in my own life ... things about my friend Brenda who is dying.

See tater, we all go through it. Sorry you are going through it so young, but thanks for sharing with us. I don't know how to say this right ... so I'll just blurt it out, but when others share their hard times, it makes the pain and alone feelings of life easier. It just does. I appreciate that.

lynnspotter

Bless you Tater. I am very sorry you experience this loss of a friend. My prayers are with you.

potatoesoftheworld

I've gone through it once before- people say that gave me "experience" and "preparation" for this.

potatoesoftheworld

It didn't- i thought she would live.

matthew

They just meant that you have had an experience that had similar feelings attached to it...

Tater,

Loss is loss... It is never... and I do mean is NEVER an easy thing... What your "experience" gave you was knowledge... Knowledge that you will smile again... You will laugh again... You will love again... You know that is true now, but you are now learning something new... Before your joy returns, you will hurt again... You will cry again and you will feel lost again...

Nobody can tell you how to feel Tater... Just remember this... Those that love & care for you don't want to see you hurting... They want to try to help... They may be searching for anyway to sooth your pain, hoping to find the right words... There are no magic words, but what they are really saying is "I love you"...

potatoesoftheworld

I just want her back. I just want them both back.

matthew

.

matthew

I feel for you Tater (The Teenager)... I really do... I wish we could all give you a ThinkHug...

potatoesoftheworld

Can we stop talking about it now.?

pollyesther

My dad is alive and well, he's staying with me for a while...tyvm to those who prayed for him! ))

sheftali52

Great news, pollyesther--hope that continues.

potatoesoftheworld

congrats