|
midnightpoet
 |
I'm still in the mood to write. Other's have written without the list or count, so now I've done it...I don't know what this is, but I wanted to try my hand at rule-breaking.
*
A dirty doll lay neglected on the broken ground as bare feet plodded by.
The feet were caked with mud and dried blood. Ragged toenails matched the blackened fingernails on the hands attached to the bodies attached to the feet.
Tears washed clean places on the faces attached to the heads attached to the bodies attached to the hands.
Shoulders shook in inaudible sobs as feet were placed one in front of the other, shaking legs barely holding up the bodies attached to the shoulders attached to heads attached to the faces.
Silence surrounded the bloody feet and blacked nails and tear streaked faces and shaking shoulders and tired bodies moving ever onward.
A whimper shocked the silence.
The whimper became a cry.
The cry became a scream.
The scream became a small girl with dirty feet and ragged nails and shaking shoulders and tired legs.
A gun shot rang in the ears of the bodies attached to the feet.
Silence ruled again.
*
|
|
marius
 |
midnightpoet, this last one made me feel creepy. So, yeah, you've got the mood in there. I was actually glad there was a gunshot. Relieve that suffering! And, I liked the parts about the body-parts connected to other body parts. Think that was a neat way to describe the disconnect that happens when suffering is too great. : )
Re your series. You wrote: "I'm enjoying this, whether the writing is crap or not. I've never written a series like this before."
I had great fun writing a series a while back too. Very different challenge. As for question if the writing is crap or not ... erm ... 'crap' would not be my opinion. Is it your absolute best writing ever? I wouldn't say that either but for me, personally, the tweaking and perfecting is the easiest part of writing. The hard part is getting started and I'm finding it a wonderful freedom to submit before I reach that pearly place of 'perfection,' whatever perfection is.
From this view, the writing in your series is quite good. It's like a view of a cake in the oven. It has all the right ingredients, you can smell it baking, and there are very few steps left to take: pull it from the oven, ice it, eat it and say, "Yum!" So, yes, there might be places you can tweak in your series if you so desire, but you're a good writer and you'll know what and where to tweak should you wish to do so. But for me, smelling the cake is almost the same as eating it. Does that make sense? Okay, maybe not (laughing at self here) ... what I'm trying to say is I can feel the 'perfect writing' in your series.
What I'm finding, is that there is something wildly delicious about not *having* to have a story reach perfection before I will like a it or share it. It seems this process is freeing me up. Maybe in the long run I'll actually be a better writer because of it. I don't know, but it sure feels good!
|
|
Qsilv
 |
musing on all this...
you'll notice I have a really mixed bag of drawings there in TD...
I joke that keeping the crap keeps me humble, but the truth is it's more than that...
it's important to me to be able to live with that whole spectrum, for others to see AND for just me, myself.
Small story --
Before I figured out that's ok to do crap, I was paralyzed... could hardly ever do artwork.
Had a friend who used to get drawings out of me rather cleverly tho....
she'd invite me around or simply show up wherever I was... armed to the teeth with things to short-circuit my thinking too much.
She'd ply me with hot tea and cookies... and paper, pens, pencils with exactly the right leads...
all the materials she knew I needed... (and I was quite a bitchy-picky thing, too)
then spin me a story about how she just needed a preliminary idea sketched out for her own work (public relations stuff)...
she'd talk a mile a minute til I produced that...
and then... snatch it away from me! LOL
I knew what she was up to... but I let her...
it was such a fascinating process!
She gave me a powerful gift.
You guys give me one too.... thank you for it.
;>
|
