KStanley

giraffe: Very strange and I loved every word of it. Well written dorothy. lol.

Doug

oops. The Mrs. was still logged in. What she said!!! lol. I wish she'd draw again. Unlike hubby (me) she has some talent. I can write, well I think I can.

Login

Yes you can write, Doug ... and your wife can certainly draw. I've just found that old tree she did at the beginning of the month.

mouse

Doug,
I am not one to read romance novels but I did like this "syrupy/sappy" tale. I like the sequel. You might even pull a 3rd chapter out of it. Or leave it as a cliffhanger.

mouse

Giraffe
Interesting tale. Could be near death experience, or a dream or a flight of ideas. Either way it was intriguing.

ladyhwin

okay.... 301 words w/out the title. I know you can't pick me, mouse, but I couldn't resist.

Solving Riddles in the Dark
Seated in a boat…
Floating on a lake…
Darkness folding her cloak about the world…
Everything so quiet and still, like… time-in-a-bottle…
Moon defying the dark and shedding her glow over the earth…
Shazana sat in the little boat, inhaling the beautiful scents of night, watching the colorful sunset as it faded into the horizon. The green was her favorite shade, matching the emerald ring on her hand.
She leaned back to rest against him, knowing without a doubt that he would hold her, despite the enigma of a life she lived. When she had been out of luck, when everything she had ever needed, wanted, possessed, cared about and loved had slipped through her fingers, when she was lost, alone and afraid, he had pulled her close, showered her with hope and dreams, give her a reason to live and move on.
Shazana trailed her hand in the shadowy water, the coolness soothing after the humid evening. She gazed, smiling as the last traces of color disappeared from the sky, leaving only the darkness of night.
Slowly, she willed herself back to her home and the tiny vessel moved through the water with the lithe ability of a fish. Close by her shoulder he sat, an unspeaking, comforting presence... One hand reaching out to cover hers, the other gliding over her silver hair.
They reached the shore and stepped onto springy turf. Shazana turned back to whisper to the boat – sending it onto guard duty about the lake.
Their feet made no sounds on the ground, no pop of snapped twigs, no soft earth to pull them in. At the door to Shazana’s house, they stopped. He tenderly caressed her cheek, held her gaze for a moment.
Shazana entered her home, innocently unaware of how much she had to lose.

giraffe

Thanks, Mouse. Sometimes I get lost and think I took one too many hits back in the early 70s. As long as it's enjoyable, maybe it doesn't have to make sense.

Doug, I stopped the drawing "ThinkDraw" style a while ago. I'm overwhelmed by the talent - yours too. I'll probably do it again. I did sell 3 oil pastel drawings last month - got $200 for the 3. I just like this writing.

mouse

Ladyhwin
WOW--powerful, lovely, leaves you wanting to know what happens next. Talking to the boat--Could she be a sorceress. ----- me thinks we need another chapter-

mouse

Giraffe--It did make sense, in a way.

ladyhwin

thanks mouse, I had to think on it overnight to finish it... and I STILL have no idea where that came from.... I just might write a sequel.... we'll see what my twisted mind can come up with!

giraffe

Ladyhwin. Reminds me of a Gustav Klimt painting. Victorian / modern. It could use a sequel. I'm too much of a Bad Boy to even think of trying something that delicate.

Doug

ladyhwin: I don't think it needs a sequel. It was fabulous. I don't know what inspiration that story came from, but give me more! Not a sequel, but another story in that vain. Hell, its something I would write. It was spellbinding, powerful and mysterious all at the same time. I'm thinking "ghosts". Wonderful story, keep it up!

ladyhwin

we'll see..... I really haven't a clue what it is about..... possibly...

marius

Finally catching up with you all. You're having way too much fun!

Giraffe ... enjoyed "Jim Croce" and liked your ideas of time. And "The Cure" was weirdly delightful.

Doug, "Caught in the Crosswalk" was fun and I liked the two characters meeting over spilled apples. Enjoyed your use of colors to set the tone. LAUGHED loudly when I read, "It's just not like me." Hahaha, that is what I thought about me when I wrote a *scary* one. Am thinking maybe romance IS like you, or ... some parts of you. ; )

Ladyhwin, "Riddles" was elegant. Liked how you made us see and feel the setting. Personally, I agree with mouse ... tell us more!!!

Have the word list with me but muses aren't speaking yet. Haha, maybe they know I just got my computer back and are letting me catch up.

marius

Time in the Country

Cheryl was in my bathroom a long time. I wondered if she was sick but when she came out she had the silliest look on her face.

“I love your bottle collection,” she laughed. “You’re quite the enigma.”
Drat! I’d left it out, but I’d not expected a friend to come visiting at sunrise. When you live far from town folks don’t drop by. That’s why I live in the country; you don’t get caught unawares!

Cheryl was detailing the bottle of Guilt-Be-Gone.

“Money-back Guarantee! One spray prevents all relatives, friends, co-workers, neighbors, boyfriends, everyone, from laying a guilt trip on you! Also prevents you from taking on guilt trips without conscious consent. Best used in morning. Warning: Use care when applying to others. Can be dangerous to remove someone’s guilt before they’re done with it.”

She laughed and asked what Guilt-Be-Gone was made with because she’d tried some and thought it smelled like rose water. I thought, “Dang it. Now she doesn’t feel guilty about dropping in on me like this! Guilt can be so useful.”

Hoping to move off the topic of my bottle collection, I called on my ability to change focus and asked if she’d like to sit in the shade of the porch, have a pop. She did, so I fetched two Cokes from the fridge, put on some soothing tunes and we settled ourselves in the rockers. Mignon was on the railing, licking her paws and cleaning around those lovely emerald eyes. I wondered if she’d heard the talk about my bottle collection.

Then Cheryl asked the dreaded question, “What’s in the tall bottle labeled ‘Time-in-a-bottle?’ I looked but it seemed empty and I couldn’t get it opened.”

Mignon winked and I felt her relief. We’d been looking forward to her fiftieth birthday all week.

Qsilv

....................................woww. . . . (er.. where can *I* get some of that, huh?)


no, really... every line of this works, the pacing is great... the ending? a total hoot!

Dragon

Love love loved that marius!

giraffe

Outstanding, Marius. You don't want to take too much "Guilt-be Gone". Guilt is a valid psychological emotion. I wouldn't kill my neighbor because I'd feel guilty if I did. It's the petty manipulative guilt that we all need a pill for. Cool story that could use some development.

mouse

Marius: Time in the Country

Oh, there are time, I suspect, when each of us would like to have a dab of "Guilt be gone". The ending was so good, caught me off guard. Enjoyed it very much.

marius

Thanks for the kind comments! Not sure what development you meant giraffe, but there is an urge to do more with this. Hmmm. : )