midnightpoet

All of them as "bad guys" with some potential...that's really an interesting way to look at it, and it brings up a lot of thought in my over-full little head...I often find myself wondering about the inherent nature of humanity...are we born good, and the world turns us evil? or are we all, on some level, inherently evil...? ...your stories tend to imply the latter...

giraffe

The word count is 368, w/o title

I tried to incorporate Doug's amd Midnight's suggestions. This is it for me for a while .

PHOBIA BOY

These four guys who were inseparable friends. Dave lived with his seriously abusuve father and abused mother. Kevin only had a mom and she drank and ranted obtusely. Sweeney was the neglected rich kid who could afford all the beer. And Joey had mental problems. They all felt like they were jinxed and that's what created their bond. Together, they would get drunk and dream big about their possible futures.

Dave wanted to own a casino. Kevin dreamed of being a rock star. Sweeney would be given his trust fund at 21 and buy the casino where Kevin's band would play. And Joey was struggling to get out of the 7th grade when he was 18. He could be the bouncer. They'd be surrounded by fine chicks and each would have his own bachelor pad.

Then there was Ronald. He was the diabetic kid who secretly hated them. The more they taunted him, the more he would obsess on his hatred of them. Ronald had been on a self-pity trip since they diagnosed his condition. Kids are cruel. They called him "Phobia Boy". They chased him around and sometimes beat him up. It was their way of doing something "real" together. All they had were dreams and terrible families, so bullying came easy. It was real.

Ronald knew better than to walk down their block and sneer at them, but he did it anyway. He was as much a part of their sisister collusion as they were. His glares didn't need words. It was their signal to chase him and knock him off balance. His reward was to have his own self pity validated, and the gang's reward was to accomplish something real together. Five spiritual and Karmic fibers were all connected.

None of them knew it, but each one - when alone in their rooms - would light a candle. Each thought it was their own little secret to want better for themselves. In the daylight they were playing a role. At night the real dreams came out. Truth, friendship, health, escape, all the things only a candle may cure.

midnightpoet

wow, Giraffe! I love the rewrite!!!

marg

What a great set of words, Doug.. and I've now got to go back and re-read your and giraffe's brilliant offerings, 'cause I was a bit rushed earlier.

Here's one for you.. it's actually a bit long, but I ran out of time (again) and didn't want to trim any of it - will revisit tomorrow !

A question of balance

I guess it all started with a dare. I know this guy called Simmo, who’s a dogman for Enocom, the mob that’s building the new bridge across the Flores River. Simmo was OK, but I never thought he was too great, although everyone else seemed to treat him like he was a hero or something. Call me obtuse, but I used to think his job must be a ball – you know, like how hard is it to ride the bucket and signal up to the crane driver which way to go ? Pretty damn easy, I reckoned, unless you had some sort of phobia about heights.

So this particular Sunday afternoon, we’d all been joshing about down at the roadhouse, having a few beers, and one thing led to another. Next minute, I’m out on the new girder that’s spanning the gorge, and I’m looking down at this thin bit of steel and a helluva drop, and things became awfully serious, awfully fast. I guess, from the start, I never stood a candle’s chance of making it, ‘cause the wind was picking up and it seemed like everything was in collusion against me. I was still feeling pretty cocky, though, when suddenly the whole thing jinked – and there’s me, with about two hundred feet of nothingness between me and the river - and it was like looking at your own gravestone, except you’re heading face into it at a hundred miles an hour. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I see it again, just frozen in time like that.

I’m not sure what I did then – I guess the body just takes over when the brain stops like that – but the next thing I felt was the cable under the girder kinda sawing through my left hand as it took my weight, and then I had both hands on it and my leg was already coming up to loop over, monkey style. I hung on, then, still not really getting it, with part of my brain still thinking I was hurtling down into the gorge and the other part fixed on the fibrous feel of the cable in my hands. I could hear Simmo calling out something, but I couldn’t take my mind off holding onto the cable to listen to what he said, they were just meaningless words, like he was speaking some foreign language. Simmo came and got me down, after all that, but all he ever said about it later was that it was all a question of balance.

giraffe

Marg. That made me dizzy. And how does the mind work in a state of panic? We don't remember, I guess.

Dragon

giraffe, loved the rewrite. Just goes to show you even the bullies have hopes and dreams and the worlds isn't just black and white.

marg, I'm with giraffe,makes me dizzy. I can see how you wouldn't want to cut anything it fits together so beautifully. You really had me out on that girder.

marius

giraffe, I liked, "Whose Fears" but not sure there's agreement about Paul being bad guy. Maybe Karma used Paul? Idea of getting back what we put out does seem to be a theme you're exploring. I'm liking it. With "The Flame," think I agree with Doug ... and would scrap the last sentence cause sentence before it seems to say what you said you were wanting to say ... that the "guy couldn't excape persecution." Great reading, thanks.

Doug, Fariy Tale was a fun romp. I too liked the change in tone with the second half. ; )

Marg, enjoyed your story but did NOT feel dizzy. That's strange because heights bother me. Am thinking I got caught up in how the brain took over for the man's body such that the man could barely articulate how his body managed to save him. Very cool how you related that!

marius

368 words without title. Think I got all the words in there too.

Time and Parking in the Universe

Yesterday the Universe decided to jink me around, taking an easy schedule and adding some funny kinks. I didn’t mind. In fact, I asked for it.

Betsy and Kim were due to arrive twenty minutes apart. They didn't. From what they said later, the delay helped Kim with her phobia and Betsy was happy for extra time to play with fibrous joys: yarns, threads and fabrics. Were I the fearful kind, I might have suspected collusion, but it wasn’t like that. I’d made a request, there was a bit chaos and then balance.

Here’s what happened. I overslept. So when I awoke, I asked the Universe, "Do you think you could stretch one hour into two? The way I see it, if you *stretch* an hour I’d have more time, but it technically would still be a twenty-four hour day. Will you do it? "

Within ten minutes, I got phone calls. Seriously. Betsy and Kim would be late. The snow storms were causing airline difficulties. Hallelujah! More time. Of course, the changes meant a longer day because I’d have to go to the airport two times instead of one. I could live with that.

I bounded upstairs to do yoga, lit a candle and picked out a CD, “No Place Like Om.” While warming up with the usual breathing techniques, I thought it curious how fast and oddly some requests are granted.

One request that is granted with high frequency concerns parking spaces. I have found excellent parking so often that only the most obtuse would doubt the process. Until yesterday, only my spouse knew about this, but when Kim saw where my car was parked she said, “Wow! How’d you get such a great parking space?” I just smiled.

Later that evening when Kim and I returned to the airport to pick up Betsy, the parking situation looked dim. Just as I was about to give up, Kim pointed to a space across the fence in another lot but that isn’t what I saw. I saw the woman walking with her cell phone. She got into a car, backed it out and Kim gasped, “What are the odds? The same space two times in one day?”

marius

Doug, sorry I've not been around much. I do actually have two out-of-town visitors and they'll be here a week. So, probably no more submissions from me on this TW, but will try to check in when I can.

Have very much enjoyed everyone's contributions!

Dragon

Here's a little different spin on meditation and balance in the universe. 368 words not including the title.

Where Meditation Leads

Balance. Her world revolved around it. Everything in balance. There was no good and evil just harmony and discord.

Every day would start and end with meditation and between she would do what she could to bring balance to the world around her. One morning, while in the middle of a vinyasa, she felt a sudden jink in the universe, felt it call her to restore harmony.

She found her candle and meditated seriously. She sat until she could not feel the fibrous rug beneath her, until she could not hear the cattle lowing outside, until she could not smell the melting wax of her candle. And then the universe whispered a name in her ear.

It was not always easy to decipher the obtuse messages she was often given but these words were so clear that she had to look to make sure there was no one in the room with her. Her legs were numb, her candle had burnt out. She had meditated well into the afternoon. She centered herself again and readied herself mentally to find the man whose name now burned in her.

What method would be best to bring him to harmony? Bribery? Seduction? Blackmail? She must find him, study him, then she would know. She had never failed yet.

Finding him proved easy, studying him was more difficult. He lived in luxury and hid behind guarded gates but it did not stop her. He could be in collusion with the devil himself and she would still find a way. Afterall, she could not let the universe down. Not when it had been so clear.

Learning of him left a bad taste in her mouth, he was chaos itself and she must bring him to order. But she was very much at a loss as to how. There was a way to know.

She sat on her fibrous rug again and laid out her I Ching coins carefully seeking an answer. They were in the position of verse 16.

The sun rises on the eastern sea,
Filling the world with brightness.
When actions and usefulness are in harmony,
Everything will be successful.

It could not be clearer, at dawn she would kill him.

giraffe

Marius. I ws waiting to see if there was an occasion for the visitors, but it's more about synchronicity in the universe. Very nice.

giraffe

Dragon. Remind me to never go over to her house. Not even for an I Ching lesson. Whew! Good use of the list.

marg

whew.. yesterday there were only 3 contributions, and suddenly there seem to be so many I haven't seen..

Firstly, Doug, I think it's a great word list.. but if most people don't know some of the words, I think it leads to 'artificial' stories ('cause people have to look 'em up and then try and use them). I think this has happened on a few Think Writes, and I have to ask - is there anything wrong with just using common words, but in unusual combinations ?

Just BTW for anyone who isn't too sure, a 'jinx' is pretty much the same as putting a 'hex' or wicked spell on someone (as opposed to a jink, which is like a sudden jerk or unexpected movement), and 'collusion' basically means people plotting or conspiring together.

I've read all the great contributions so far, anyway, and my thoughts are :

giraffe: WHOSE FEARS was horribly good - it was so well written and also so inevitable, in a way, that it sent shivers down my spine. I think the last para ['Welcome to yours'] detracted from it, but I think I know exactly where you were coming from in adding it in - the rest of the tale is a jewel.

Doug: hmm.. the first part of 'Fairy Tale' was a bit too 'I've been using the dictionary' for me - I'm not sure why an armadillo would jump when it's arduously ambling ? The second part, especially that lovely picture of the gnome, is great - and yep, what else could one expect from you but the ending - nicely finished !

giraffe: THE FLAME is really powerful - and the way he says at the end that his only option is to reincarnate Black, seems to indicate that he's actually seeking persecution ? .. not sure about that, as the reader doesn't know exactly who his persecutors are, or even what his phobia is..

in PHOBIA BOY you twisted the story (and yes, indicated that he was actively seeking persecution), and I think it's a 'better' piece.. but only because I had read the first. I think The Flame is strong enough to go on it's own (without the last bit), and stronger with Phobia Boy as a reprise..but Phobia Boy would be a bit weak to stand alone, and wouldn't be anywhere near as effective.

midnight: LOL.. what sort of tech writing are you doing ? .. and why can't you just use your natural way with words ? .. and what makes you think everyone ends up evil ? human beings are inherently 'human', not good or bad

marius: 'Time and Parking in the Universe' - I thought it was only Qsilv who asked for time to be *stretched* just a little bit (surprising, really, since she seems to go in for garden parties, and lordy knows I try to get out of those asap) - but this was a beauty - loved it ! (umm.. do you have that 'phone number for the Universe, by any chance ?)

Dragon: well, I'm just glad my name isn't too common, otherwise who knows which focused I Chingers would be lurking around outside, having interpreted a sweet, innocent, positive well-being verse to indicate that hitting me with a vacuum cleaner or the wooden Mah Jong set is what they need to do to return balance to the universe. (Umm.. I DID like it though !)

giraffe

Very good comments, Marg. You cracked me up. Maybe we can force the # to the Universe out of Marius (unless it's hidden in the I Ching). Then again it might be that # the guy was thinking when he saved his own life and then he forgot what he was thinking about. I think the # is 42. lol

marg

LOL, giraffe.. I just tried that, and got some ephereal voice saying 'The entity you tried to call is busy..'

.. but maybe we could have 'fortitude' in the next word list ?

marg

oh, sorry all for the terrible pun..

Doug

I'll have to catch up with you all on Monday and give my take on the stories I just breezed through. Not fair to comment until I dig in to them a little more. Keep writing! midnight: Write a technical piece if you must, but I think letting your mind wander and just "free writing" (forget the word list) would be welcome too. It might remove that block you have.

Dragon

marg, I'm glad you saw what I was thinking with my story. I wanted to end it with the character using something completely obtuse (if you'll allow me to use a word from the list) to make a life changing decision. I also hoped it would be clear that she'd already decided to kill him and would have twisted any verse from the I Ching to make it apply to her decision. I'm pretty sure there's nothing in any I Ching verse that says "Go out and kill that guy".

Dragon

BTW, LOL at 'The entity you tried to call is busy..'
that gave me a chuckle.

giraffe

Dragon. At the end of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide series, the weary space pilgrims (after many years of grueling experiences) finally get to find out the meaning of life, the Universe and everything else! It is revealed to them that the answer is "the number 42". Now they just have to figure out what the question is. Your story brought that to mind. It's all a matter of interpretation.