charityb98

Oh and PS...my mom's name was Barbara
but she didn't have orange lipstick
that I know of...lol

mebu27

Charity I was hoping to get a review too.

charityb98

Mebu I sincerely apologize, I left a comment on yours the other day, looking back I see it didn't post!! I did not intentionally not comment on your very creative piece! The emotional roller coaster she was on was very well depicted, how fun & alluring the night before was, how she despised what had to happen next & her conflict of feeling great about herself & sexy and the next minute feeling down because of her previous experiences...I ESP loved how you used the words in the order they were given! That's not anal, just another way to have fun with this word puzzle! Again I apologize if I hurt your feelings in any way.

mebu27

thank you.

anotherronism

“Response” by Ron

Frito,

You’re just one chip in my bag babe. You can’t be clinging like this all the time.

I got eight, nine maybe ten other phillies in the stable. And none of them are burning down their house.

I’ll get you under these sheets in time. But you gotta wait your turn girl.

And what is “exuberant’? Is that anything like the gone aria? Or the see Phyllis? Man I hope not. Cause I’ve seen Phyllis and tasted her peas and not no more un unh.

Glad you could extinguish that fire with water. I tried once with some Gilby’s vodka and man, oh man was that a mistake – wasting vodka and all…

But the insurance man paid up. Course I had to cram his head in the toilet first. But he’s all right. His redemption was that check.

Hey. I killed me a orange cat last night just for the fun of it. Saw him licking himself in my drive and popped him wid my 22. How bout that?

It’s a stormy day and I got to take a nap before number six comes around. She’s bringing over a bucket of The Colonel. But she wants me to buy the beer.

Which leaves just this.

Can I swing by and borrow twenty bucks? You know I’m good for it.

Lenny

Oh yeah.

That stain’ll come out. You can find out next time you’re around. I got a big old load of warsh for ye when ye gets here.

And you still ain’t half bad babe. Just wait.

sunny

Ron, I bow to your creativity! I am declaring you the winner of the Lenny/Freda dialogue! How could I possibly respond to THAT? LMAO!

Robindcr8l

Obviously, my boy was logged in last. That was me posting.

charityb98

"An Incredible Day"

As she hugged her knees to her chest, listened to the leaves rustle and stared out at the sun slowly slipping into the horizon she thought about her day.

While nestled under her sheets, her neighbor’s shower in the apartment above her began seeping into her bedroom! After hurried calls to the Super the water was cleaned up by breakfast.

While waiting for the bus, she saw an old high-school friend. They tried to cram ten years into a few minutes but instead made plans for the afternoon.

Over lunch her friend shared how stormy her life had been. Her dad had beat her growing up, and yet found herself with a man that treated her the same. She had tried to extinguish the love she had for him, knowing it would ruin her life. She shared how different she would be if it hadn’t been for the church family she found. They showed her how Jesus offered redemption for her sins, saving her eternal life and giving her the courage to live her life as the Bible taught. With their help, she escaped her terrifying situation, and with God’s help she had begun to heal.

The more they talked, she realized she wanted what her friend had. Her friend then led her to the Lord.

Exuberant, she watched the sliver of the sun slide from view and gasped at the bright orange tipping the clouds. She thanked God for her incredible day knowing the ending of this day was the beginning of the rest of her life!

charityb98

I had originally came up with the word list totally out of my head, but as I looked at it, this type of story stood out...I just had to edit edit edit, it originally was over 400 words!

Ron, you simply crack me up!

mebu27

Great stories

Midnight poet
Robin
Ron and
Charity

mebu27

Ron I'll bet you are a lot of fun to have a beer with. I'll bet you keep people laughing.

Dragon

Alrighty, great word list and the word count worked out perfectly for me, here's my latest.


Air Raid

We learned of the enemy encroachment ten days ago. We couldn’t stand by and allow them to build within our borders. It was decided a full air raid was in order to extinguish the insurgency before they could dig their nest any further into our territory.
The stormy weather held off our attack for three days and we chafed at the delay but when the sheets of rain subsided we were ready.
The air droned with the sound of our squadrons and our captain was exuberant with the thought of the attack and with how many enemy kills we could cram into a single attack. There would be no redemption for those yellow bastards; we had gathered every available soldier to make sure of that.
As we neared our target the sun was just rising and it reflected an orange glow off the water still pooled below by the rain. It was by this light that we engaged our enemy. They had managed to scramble a squadron to meet us but they were hopelessly outmatched and out powered.
We were merciless in our attack, our Stingers were accurate and broken yellow bodies fell from the sky like leaves fall from the trees in autumn. We moved on to their nest itself and the havoc we wreaked was without match.
We took our losses, there are always losses in war but they were nothing compared to the devastation the yellows took. Yellow Jackets ought to know better than to build in Hornet territory. They won’t make that mistake again.

midnightpoet

Great, great, great stories.

I've written something. It's almost 500 words. I'm at a friend's house and ignoring her, so I'll try to edit it, and might post it later. My computer is broken at the moment.

anotherronism

OMG! 24 Hours and not a single post.

Keep ThinkWrite alive. Keep ThinkWrite alive!

charityb98

"Ten Orange Sheets"

Ten orange sheets.
Of paper.

Their whole lives, everything they had done together, it had all started out as fun and games and had turned into redemption from society’s disapproval. Everything had been summarized into sentences and statements that fit on those ten sheets of paper.

They both sat, inches apart, simply breathing in unison and looking around at their meager belongings. They had had to cram everything they could into this small room with its one table, three chairs, one door, one window…one mirrored window. They could see each other in that mirror, and both knew what the other was thinking.

They had been left alone. For the moment. This was their moment.

The cup of water on the table began to slide toward them. The papers first gently curled upwards at the edges, then fluttered, then skipped on the table like fall leaves caught in a whirlwind then suddenly plastered against the walls and that stupid mirrored window. Their stormy emotions flooding each other’s thoughts, knowing they must move fast to make their escape. The table flew into the air. They could hear voices, shouts; they were coming.

They were exuberant knowing those voices faced a decision, open the door and try to deal with the insanity inside, or not and have to deal with it once it broke loose. Those ten orange sheets were an attempt to extinguish their very lives. Because they were different. Because they were special. Because they could throw a table into that mirrored window without ever moving a muscle.

Crash.

anotherronism

Charity... Wow. That was fantastic.

I take it they are twins with some phenomenal metal powers and they're in an interrogation room and the poo is about to hit the fan...

Reminds me of that horrid Stephen King movie with young Drew Barrymore - Firestarter.

But she was a single kid. There was The Last Mimzy which has a similar theme. The Fly II also similar. D.A.R.Y.L. and also some really, really strange French film I once say about two "special" kids who lived in bubbles and were naked the entire film. "Lola" was a part of the title. Like Sam and Lola or Joshua and Lola. Something like that.

But I digress...

I really, really liked the piece. So much was unsaid that it's sparked me to think about it.

This is what I love so much about "Flash Fiction" - the respect the writer MUST give to the reader. There's just no room to help them along. They either get it or they don't.

Excellent piece. One of the best in all ten iterations of ThinkWrite.

Ron

anotherronism

Errr.... "Metal" = "Mental" duh!

anotherronism

Dragon - I missed "Air Raid" somehow. I've posted since you wrote it so I must have been scroll-happy. Nice. I thought it might be going that way but you held back 'just' enough to keep me guessing.

Nice...

anotherronism

OPh and Mebu: In Her Hotel Room was fun. I don't know if you meant it to be "fun" but it was. I especially love the three-word twist at the end "Her court date."

Gawd - I apologize if the piece wasn't meant to have a funny side. I just get in these moods sometimes.

And this is why I lobbied to have no "winners" in this forum challenge. Because reading other people's work, especially in this tight format, is so, so subjective. The idea of "passing the torch" is based on nothing more than someone must hold it and make a new lsit.

But it's not about winners or losers. It's just whatever hits the right nerve with the current torch-bearer.

All of this to say I really liked your piece and found it funny. But puh-lease accept my apology if it wasn't intended as such

Ron

anotherronism

“The Gifts” by Ron

Our tiny outboard pushed slowly against the current. I was drifting to sleep on the edge of the boat when my hand fell into the water. I thought of all the creatures there.

I bolted upright as we emerged into an open area with fewer trees.

There were people here. I was exuberant.

Their skin was brown. They were naked. There were ten of them. The children were wet and probably bathing when they heard our motor. The women pulled the smaller ones behind themselves.

Our guide drove the boat into the muddy bank.

The children giggled and the women looked concerned. An older boy was dispatched and ran off.

I gathered up as many gifts as I could cram into one basket. I said a prayer. I prayed for my own redemption and the redemption of these native peoples.

I walked up the shore.

The sky darkened.

Men arrived. They too were naked but wore sheets of orange fabric bound tightly about their privates. It was funny as these loin-cloths revealed more than they hid. But that was the point.

Leaves fell and swirled as the winds increased. It was suddenly stormy and rain began to fall in thick torrents.

The tallest man approached me and I bowed and presented my trinkets.

He poked my chest hard.

Then he drew his weapon to extinguish my life.

As I died on that primitive river bed I thought of all the pathogens he had just touched and succumbing to vengeance I was happy at the gifts I had brought.