bhughes

Okay gang, Here are my rules and list of words.

Story in 250 words or less using these key words:

Accent
Advertise
Confusing
Chivalry
Luminous
Medium
Nebulous
Palette
Promenad e
Relevant

Challenge will end on July 20,2010
Have fun

giraffe

Great list, B. I'm up all night, so I'll give it a shot.

giraffe

Jolene advertised as a "medium" in local papers - cheaply. She also had hand-written flyers in grocery stores and laundromats. CALL MADAM JOLENE they said. She knows all about your past, present and future.

Her job was easy. Only the most confused individuals would call her and show up at her luminous studio - equipped with Tarot cards and crystal balls, candles and draperies. Often her nebulous answers would trigger a client to open up more facts. It was easy for her to say something relevant to a stranger who's pouring their guts out.

"I've never done this before, Madam Jolene." Brad said. He was already entranced by her fake Russian accent. "How do we start?"

"You vill hold my hand as you lay the magic $50 bill between us and tell me about your troubles."

"OK. I'm in love with Diane."

"Do you feel zee energy from my fingers? If you do, vee can double that with another magic $50 bill."

"Let's keep going." Brad said. "All I want is for her to talk to me."

"Go now!" she blurted out. "Go home and wait for her call. If you don't hear from her by tomorrow morning, come back and zee me."

"Thank you, Madam. I'll take your advice." She released the grip on his hand and pretentiously nearly fainted. Brad went home and sat there staring at his phone. It never rang, so he went back to Madam Jolene's the next day.

"I zee" she said "that you vant to show Diane your chivalry. You vant to be her knight in shining armour. There is a spell on you. For only $2000.00, I can remove that in 24 hours. If the spell isn't broken by tomorrow at zis time, come and zee me again."

"Thank you, Madam Jolene." Brad went home again and waited for Diane's call while Jolene was jumping into bed with Diane in the back room.

"Baby, we're set." Diane whispered. "I'll keep leading him on and you keep bleeding him on. Tell him the spell is too difficult to remove. Tell him you magically know about his house in Rhode Island. He signs it over to remove the spell and we move to France.

I have plenty more ideas on my palette.

morshy

250 words, not including the title

The Goner

“Do you believe in magic?”

Her accent was hard to place, a confusing blend of Deep South and Midwest. There was something else in there too, buried deeper. He sat in silence for too long, and she asked again if he believed in magic. Unsure, he stammered a half-hearted reply. She closed her eyes, threw her head back and laughed. It was a beautiful sound! Her raven dark locks, her luminous eyes…he was captivated. Any thought of chivalry he had fled; from that moment on he was lost. She smiled coquettishly, fluttered her eyelashes, and gently placed a hand on his arm.

“We will read the cards,” she said.

Her store was on the promenade, hidden amongst the endless book stores and coffee shops. She didn’t advertise that she was a medium, a mystic, but once you crossed the threshold, you were left in no doubt. His palette didn’t normally extend beyond valley girls, but her nebulous charms, the air of mystery and adventure that surrounded her… She laid the cards out on the table, face down and asked him to choose. He pointed to a relevant card.

“The Hangèd Man,” she tutted. “Not good at all. Another.” He duly obliged, she flipped it over.

“Death!” She stated.

“It can mean change…right?” He asked, fear creeping into his voice.

“It can,” she agreed. “But not for you.” Unseen hands grabbed him from behind, pulling him into the darkness. The last noise he heard was her laughter, echoing through the store.

midnightpoet

I considered setting up as a tarot reader for a bit of extra cash at one point...but I had no plans on killing anyone.

Morshy...that was wonderful...draw him in then surprise him...that's exactly what your words did to me.

Giraffe, I enjoyed your story, too. So many "psychics" out there are like that...they read the people, not the cards or the auras or the energies. You captured that well. However...there's one sentence...

"Only the most confused individuals would call her and show up at her luminous studio - equipped with Tarot cards and crystal balls, candles and draperies."

That doesn't seem to flow right to me. The way the sentence is structured, it seems that the "confused individuals" are the ones "equipped with Tarot cards..." etc... I would change it to...

"Only the most confused individuals would call her and show up" at her luminous studio - where she was equipped with Tarot cards and crystal balls, candles and draperies."

But that's just me, and I could be wrong. I mean, there's a first time for everything, right?

midnightpoet

"Her First Date"

She looked at the clock. The luminous numbers told her it was half-past-six. He was due here at seven.

She hurried into the bathroom to investigate what needed to be done. One glance in the mirror, and she almost called to cancel.

No! She couldn't let this opportunity slip by.

A quick shower later, and there was improvement. Twenty-five minutes left.

She toweled herself dry, and put on some deodorant (advertised as being strong enough for a man but made for a woman).

Another glance at the clock told her she had twenty minutes left.

Clothes on. The dress hung perfectly on her medium build. Fifteen minutes left.

She considered make-up. She'd always found it confusing, but that added nebulous beauty might help. Twelve minutes left...she'd better not. Her pretty face was going to have to stand on it's own.

Her red hair was cut very short. She ran her fingers through, tousling it. Ten minutes left.

Her door bell rang. He was early!

“You look lovely,” he told her, in that accent that made her quiver.

He led her to his car and opened the door. Who said chivalry was dead?

She asked what they were doing...he told her a picnic and a walk in the promenade. She asked what was in the picnic...he said it was irrelevant.

It was all so wonderful. Their hands fit perfectly together as they strolled beside the lake. A palette of colors lit the sky, and his lips found hers.

She fainted.

Doug

Nice word list bhughes. Leaves a lot of possibilities. Here's one for starters. It might help if you all say out loud with me "veeeehikle". Thanks, now read on...250 words not including title.

Buying a vehicle

He studied the classifieds every day after he decided to buy his wife a car but they always had the same deals. “I’m no college grad or military serviceman; I’m just the average Joe.” Growing bored of the mediocre offerings in the newspaper he turned to the internet. Oh my@where have you been all my life.com! All he had to do was type in a car, say a Hyundai Accent, and there she was with a dealers website blinking luminous pop ups in every direction. “Go ahead pick a color from our wide palette. It might be relevant to add that we have discontinued that puke green hue on the Vue.” Advertisements for AWD, 4Wd and all he wanted was to drive. So it kind of confused him; maybe the internet was not the place to buy a car. So he cruised on over to the bright shiny KIA dealership and being the chivalrous type he ran around his beat up old pick-me-up and opened the door for his wife. Let the promenade begin! She stuck her nose in every car window from compacts to medium sized tanks until she came to the Sorento. I really can’t explain what he and his wife did next, but it was quite a nebulous affair involving two mediums, a salesman and the finance guy. Oh come now you need to get your heads out of the gutter! They bought that beautiful 2011 Black Cherry Metallic Sorento and drove off into the sunset. Yee-haw!

Doug

giraffe: Now midnight has me stuck on that one part where it does seem a bit confusing.

morshy: ooooooooooooo...always love the unexpected deathly ending, have done many myself. yes I'm a bit morbid.

midnight: What??? What, what? A well timed trip through the eyes of a lady anxiously awaiting her date. No anger, angst, agitation or murder? Just kidding, I loved it!

giraffe

Midnight and Doug. I've worked as an Astrologer/Tarot reader for many years. 12 over the last 20 years have paid my bills. I've also met shysters like in this story. A lot of my writing comes from the dilemmas people have laid on me.

Who's cheating on me? My husband or my boyfriend? Maybe that's why I make fun of it. I do take it very seriously though.

Dragon

I once had a roommate who thought that tarot cards were evil and that if she so much as touched them she'd go to hell. She had no problem drinking, smoking, carrying on with random men, those things wouldn't send you to hell, oh no. But getting your fortune read by your roommate, straight to hell. She just had to handle living with a heathen.

bhughes

Good story Giraffe. Kind of reminds me of a song by Cher, which is on my ipod called Dark Lady, because I love it.

bhughes

Giiraffe, as this story is good, but it has 376wds instead of 250 limit and omits 3 key wds chivalry,promenade, and relevant.

bhughes

yes and I know Giraffe doesn't have 2 "i".

bhughes

Sorry Giraffe, the only word excluded from your great story is promenade. Chivalry and relevant is in... My Bad.

bhughes

Morshy, every thing jives , great story , in the running.

giraffe

OKey. Caught me.

She serves them spiked lemonade and calls it "Promenade" to take their minds back to their highschool Prom days.

And behuge, I really like your style. You'll notice that often some of us just gush and throw the rules out the window. If there was a drawing competition where you were expected to use exactly only 40 lemon wedges, 30 orange slices and 4 cherries, it would be challenging, but not very creative. You'd spend the whole time counting your orange wedges.

bhughes

I understand Giraffe and I have been there. Edit, edit, edit, ...Sorry.

giraffe

At least you said keep it 250 or under. That leaves room for someone to write a good 100 word poem. Sometimes I just don't want to count words.

bhughes

I agree with the counting , but rules are rules, what is one to do?

giraffe

Morshy. That's a great description of peoples' fears. Very much enjoyed it.

Midnight, thanks for pointing out unclear paragraph. You're right and your "perfect date" story is cool. There's the aprehension before any great event.

Behuge, rules are what draws us to forums like this. They set guidelines. I'm usually pretty good at my word count, but sometimes fly off. The competition factor of sticking to the rules keeps us going, but sometimes it's fun to ignore them. I really like this forum. I'm not here to compete - more to share energies.