anotherronism

I wish there were a site akin to ThinkDraw for writing. I know of this concept called Flash Fiction. Basically - there are no rules - except one... An exact limit on the number of words allowed; no more, no less...

I've done two five-hundred-worders and the art takes editing to a new high. (I'll try to copy and paste one here...)

ThinkDraw got me thinking (imagine that) and the idea of further limitations (such as themes or, in written form, required words or phrases) has me thinking still.

I have nothing to submit or suggest as yet.

But I'm gonna throw this out to see if anyone bites.

Write anything... Anything at all.

Make it exactly 200 words. No more, no less.

It MUST (repeat MUST) include the following words:

Dolphin
Rascal
Aloof
Spear
White Toad
Random
Henceforth
Irresponsible
Toothache

What better challenge can I issue?

I don't even know if I could pull it off myself.

Those words were as free-association as I could get my mind on short notice.

Let the fun begin or let this thread die a painless and fast death ;=)

anotherronism

"Mirror Mirror" - Flash Fiction (500 words)

Her back was to me. She sat three stools away. We'd made brief eye contact in the mirror. She hadn't looked back since.

She leaned forward. The fabric of her blouse tightened. I noticed a strap; too thin for a bra – maybe a camisole. Her shoulder blade shifted. I glanced in the mirror. Should I buy her a drink? Not yet. She was sipping slowly.

I was startled when a burly man brushed my shoulder. He wore a loose-fitting leather jacket, khakis and loafers. He smelled of cologne or after-shave. His hand was in the jacket pocket.

He stopped. We shared a moment staring at her back.

He spoke: "Valerie. Look at me."

Her neck tensed. I looked to the mirror. She turned slightly – not to the man but the mirror. She saw me. Her eyebrows raised and her eyes widened. She held my gaze.

"Have it your way then." He said, pulling a pistol from his pocket. He shot her in the back of the head. The sound was deafening. She remained on the stool but slumped forward, face-down on the bar, arms dangling.

The man turned, looked at me, dropped the gun and walked out.

I was still holding my vodka-tonic. Mere seconds had passed. The bar was silent. I looked back to the woman. Her name had been Valerie.

The wound was invisible. She appeared simply asleep except for the blood stain spreading across her back. She had strawberry blonde hair cut just below the neckline. There was no blood in her hair. It flowed beneath, wicked by the fabric. I noticed the strap. It was drawing blood more quickly.

The blood outlined the top of the undergarment creating a bizarre, macabre milieu: Portrait of a Woman's Back in Red.

I am not brave. I did not know her. But her pleading eyes impacted my brain like a bullet.

I dropped my drink, stood, then retrieved the pistol. It was a pearl-handled twenty-two; a tiny thing – a woman's gun.

I walked to the door. Not ten seconds had passed. I stepped into the cold night. I was panting and my heart raced.

There he was, walking briskly towards a running car.

"Hey!" I yelled, walking towards him, "Stop!"

He turned. I aimed. He looked calm. I fired. The little weapon popped, surprisingly quiet. I hit him in the shoulder. He reached towards his back. I emptied the gun into him.

Click. Click. The thing was empty. He fell sideways and slowly folded to the ground. I was still approaching him.

I did not notice the passenger door open. I did not see the other man.

"That was stupid."

I heard him but it meant nothing in my rush of adrenaline. I was still firing the empty gun.

I did not feel the bullet. My view abruptly changed from the red pinpoint marks on the dead man's chest to a sideways view of the sidewalk and the vapor clouds of my breath.

I should've bought her a drink.

Ron
Flash Fiction (500 words)

kmkagle

Ron - in answer to your challenge, a bit of a "waker upper" in the morning. Here is my attempt!

Suffering this terrible toothache on a Sunday afternoon, a dentist not to be found, I decided a long walk might take my mind off of the discomfort!

Strolling in the park along the meandering pathways I looked for a comfortable, scenic place to park my derriere. Picking a bench at random, I sat down. A throat cleared. Glancing over to find an elderly man reading a book, the title, “The Mystery of Dolphins”. This gentleman was a cute, little guy with a twinkle in his eye. He looked to me to be a bit of a rascal in disguise! Not wanting to appear aloof, I attempted a conversation citing the beauty of Dolphins. We jibber jabbered back and forth for quite some time.

One topic he suggested was the way some fishermen spear these poor creatures. I, of course, agreed! During the course of our conversation I noticed a bag falling open with the contents appearing. One item, another book, titled “The White Toad: It’s Natural Habitat”. Heavy reading I deduced. After our conversations, the man, it seemed, was quite strange!

Henceforth, I decided that it would be irresponsible of me to put myself into a situation such this again!

DMarcella

Wow, KM, I can't write anything like this at all, my weakness for sure. I think your story is great. When I was in school I had to do this with a list of words to include. I am not good at this so both my parents helped me, basically writing the paper for me. When I got the paper back I had gotten an F, I guess my parents handed me their poor writing skills. I have since tried this am much better but I'm still pretty bad.

kmkagle

Trust me D, I just woke up. I thought it fun. Isn't there a game that you play that you add words. Of course, I think that one has fun words. I enjoyed this. I'm not a writer. Sometimes I like to write poetry but not often.

DMarcella

KM, I am dyslexic big time or have something that is cousin to it. Like I said, my dad was worse than me. I worked on it and am much better but everyone knows pretty early on that I am probably dyslexic.

kmkagle

I think alot of people might be and don't know it. I don't know how it's managed?

marg

Umm... sorry if this is nowhere near as good as Ron's or KM's, and also apologies if I got the word count wrong (it's kinda late).. but here's my offering..

We’d had a bad day of the battle: that irresponsible idiot, Fortescue, had ordered a totally senseless foray into their lines, which had cost a lot of good men. The humiliating jeers and taunts of the French peasants after our defeat still gnawed at me, like a bad toothache, and left me determined that henceforth I would not allow the man to get into a position where he might order my soldiers into another such senseless action.

It was near sunset when a stranger staggered through the lines.. a small, wizened, little white toad of a man, clasping a large knitting needle as if it were a spear.

‘Froogal the dolphin !’ he gasped in broken English; I motioned a junior officer to deal with him, while I stayed aloof from the proceedings.

‘What’cha mean, ‘froogal’ you rascal ?’ the corpulent lieutenant barked, poking him at random with his cudgel.

‘M’sieur, m’sieur, I mean only to say you mus’ save the life of the king of France’s son’ the wretch stammered.

It was at this point I decided I was weary of this jest, and retired to my tent to prepare for the morrow – it had been a long day.

Arw65

nonsense marg, yours is great!!!

kmkagle

Wonderful job Marg! Loved it reading it. Did you enjoy this? I certainly did!

Login

These are all very clever. It's an interesting idea ... I will have to give it a lot of thought before I even attempt it.

kmkagle

Why, you're good with words and can probably come up with something quite humorus. As I said, getting into it it began to seem like alot of fun.

marg

To be honest, KM, once I saw your offering I just really wanted to try - it seemed like a definite challenge and was great fun, although in the cold light of day mine rather makes me cringe !

I can't wait to see what Ron and Login come up with, and anyone else (Baldur, maybe, given his literary talents ?).

kmkagle

I don't know how I did what I did. I just sat down and started typing! Reading yours I almost felt I was there. It was very good writing. I'd love to do one of those, I think they're called "round robin", you know, start a story, it goes all around then you see what it sounds like after everyone has added their words to it. I don't think it can be done on here. Knowing all of you, you would find a way!

marg

Nope - not quite like that for me - I thought of the punch line first ('Froogle the dolphin') and then just painted the background. I really wasn't sure anyone would get it, though !

marg

Sorry - I just reread what you wrote - and I think it would be a brilliant idea (I thought you meant mine sounded like a round robin !).

Did you mean the one where everyone thinks of a sentence first and then it all gets added together ?

Qsilv

Once upon a time, three small children were sent out into the garden to play for a while. Unescorted, unsupervised, unencumbered by any strictures other than these three rules:

Dolphin, you are the oldest, so it's your job to make sure that no tears are spilled.

Rascal, you are the middlest, so it's your job to make sure that no plants are killed.

Spear, you are --by a whole two weeks-- the youngest, so you are allowed to be totally irresponsible, BUT to keep that privilege YOU must make sure that every one of the three of you laughs at least once!

Can you each do that? If you can, you'll each get to keep your jobs next week.

If even one of you messes up, henceforth there will be trading of jobs every week.

And, all of you, remember:
in every garden there is one random bit of magic.

In this one...
oh my dears...
watch for
.....the
...Aloof
...White
...Toad
.....!

IF you spot him, and IF he's sprightly you may chase him.
But children?
If he's sitting still, eyes half-closed as if he has the toothache, you'll be extra kind, won't you? Make him smile?

(They did!)

marg

Ooohh.. unfair, unfair !! .. you used up three of the words as names ! (OK, so Ron said there were no rules )

What a brilliant story - I can hear her now, gently admonishing the little children .. but it wasn't quite definite whether they ended up chasing the toad or telling him jokes !

Qsilv

*winks ...ambiguity is half the fun!

Frankly, those three words I used as names would've been easy enough to incorporate into the garden, with a bit of statuary. But I just went with what rolled out of my mind pretty much in the order it came. Wound up with too many words by damned near double tho', and had to pare it back.

Hardest word to incorporate was "henceforth".

Thanks for the compliment, marg. And yep, a round robin'd be ok. They tend to get like herding cats tho.
;>

anotherronism

Wow! What a response. I'm at my Dad's house and only jump on his computer after he goes to bed. Last night I post his whimsy and tonight there are pearls of gold (did I say pearls of gold - is that what they mena about mixing metaphors?)

I really was just throwing this out there. But all three stories so far are quite good.

I'll get one in here eventually (I'd better - I started this after all